She Must Be Trippin!. . . ROAD Tripping With Toddlers

Aren't road trips the best? For weeks before a vacation, I envision the fun of packing up the family vehicle, everyone smiling, as we drive down the road, leaving our cares behind us for the next several days. We have our route planned out, we've remembered to pack everything, and it's pretty much picture-perfect right down to the cute luggage and my perfectly-polished toes.

I've personally had me and the kiddos bags packed for almost two weeks.  I'm BEYOND ready to hit the beach!  This will be our first family beach vacation. . .jumping waves, building sandcastles, collecting seashells, late night talks on the patio listening to the ocean tide. . .I cannot imagine a more perfect week! (Can you tell I'm pumped?!)  There's only one problem. . . South Padre Island is 13 hours away. Let me say it again, THIRTEEN FREAKIN HOURS in the car with two toddlers who can barely get along in our own living room for 5 minutes.  The thought of being trapped in a moving metal box with them for that long rates right up there with terrorist torture techniques, I'm sure of it.  Which is why we've never braved this massive feat before. We were scared we wouldn't make it to said destination alive.  No matter how many times I envision the perfect road trip situation, I have my doubts as to the amount of sheer desperation I will feel as we finally pull up to the condo on Monday afternoon.  Because as high as my hopes are for this family road trip, I also am well aware that 750 miles down the road, 2 fighting toddler boys, and dozens of spilled slushies later, I'm bound to look a bit more like this. . . 

I know, scary, right?! 

Whatever I do, I am intent on not turning into Momzilla and ruining this vacation for everyone. I've researched for weeks, gathered resources and advice from other moms I know in the "road-trippin biz" and have compiled a whole bag of activities to keep these little monsters busy and from stealing me of my sanity. I've decided to share them with you, and will do a follow-up post prior to vaca to let you know how we all fared this adventure.  After it's all said and done, the only advice I may have for you in the end is bring a pink flask full of Malibu and musician certified ear plugs.  But for now, here are the plans I have for surviving our first family roadtrip:

Let's Talk Snacks:

If it's one thing I don't want to spend money on, it's JUNK at every single gas stop.  I found this idea on Pinterest. It's a snack kit, made from a school supply organizer.  Pick out all your kids favorite small snacks and fill it up.  One thing we are doing in addition is bringing a mini ice chest full of ziploc bags of refridgerated snack foods, such as: bite-sized cantelope slices, blueberries, baby carrots, grapes, juice boxes, sliced cucumbers, and mini lunchables. All these healthy snacks should make it the whole 13 hour trip.  We'll stock up at a Wal-Mart and replenish for the trip back home as well!

Let's Talk Technology:

As far as entertainment for the kids, my favorite is the TV.  I know---totally original, and a big parenting faux pas. But, I personally think that the person who invented a way to put TV's in vehicles that kids can use with headphones deserves to have a day named in their honor.  I love this person, whomever they are.  And just for the record, I'm not a fan of TV watching at home all day.  I try to limit it when I can, but boy is it helpful!  When kids are trapped in a car anyway, the TV becomes one of the best inventions known to moms. Also, we've loaded up the kids ipod with about 50 games (most free actually) that they have access to at different times on the road trip. The use of both of these items may just save my sanity!

Let's Talk Activities:

DVD Coloring Case-

This was an idea that I found on Pinterest! How convenient! Take a DVD case and cut blank pages of paper to keep on one side, then store colored pencils in the other side for a quick and easy way to allow the kids to do one of their favorite things. My kiddos want to draw or color every single day. I'm so excited to try this idea on the roadtrip.

Pipe-Cleaner Fun-

This is something that I never would have thought of for the car! Another Pinterest find! I bought a couple of bags of multi-colored pipe cleaners and plan to let the boys (especially the kindergartener) practice their alphabet using them.  What a cool way to keep them busy, have no mess to clean up, and provide some educational stimulation in the car! It's a win/win!

Road Trip Bingo-

Let me just admit that my homemade bingo cards didn't turn out nearly this cool. So I found the mock-up I found online to post for you. You're welcome. I don't think you would have been able to decipher my "cow" or "gas station" symbols. Hopefully, the kids will. I just love this idea! I laminated my cards and am letting the kids use a dry erase marker to mark off each item they see as we drive along. I also brought little Dollar Store toys for them to win when they get a bingo. I think we'll really h ave fun with this one!

Reading Time-

I hope my kiddos aren't like me when they attempt to read in the car. I get sooooo motion sick! But I've brought a ton of books (a few new) for them to enjoy on the way down and back. My 5-year-old loves looking at each page and making up the story himself.  Hopefully this will make for long periods of storytime between him and brother on the way to and from! I'm counting on it!

Color Books and Crayons-

There is not much that my monsters love more than new color books and crayons. (Except maybe superheroes.) Since it's Back-to-School season, I got lots of cute books for $1 each and packages of crayons for $.50 a piece! We are bringing along cookie sheets to act as mini tables for them to have a solid service to color on as well! 

i-Spy with Books-

Okay, we all know how to play i-spy in normal everyday play, but how do you do it in the car?! With planning. My kids would play this all day long, so I had to figure out a way to adapt this game for travel. I took four of their favorite books and looked them over, front and back and made cards to coordinate with each book, listing off at least 10-15 things in each book for them to find. They will have loads of fun flipping through the pages trying to find each item and it's a great way to interact with them while they are in the backseat. At least, I hope. I'll let you know.  Theoretically, it sounds like a fabulous idea! LOL.

Stickers Galore-

Kids never get tired of stickers. My kiddos almost won't buy books anymore that don't come with stickers. Packages of their favorite characters can be found in the card aisles usually for super cheap.  That's where I grabbed these Angry Birds. I included a few sheets of paper in the ziploc bag with them so that I don't end up finding these little guys all over my seats and windows. This will be an activitiy that certainly won't buy me a lot of time, but they may enjoy it for about 20 minutes. 

Magnetic Travel Puzzles-

This activity better pay off because it sure took some time to figure out! I got the idea off Pinterest (yes. . .again!), and picked out 4 different puzzles, each about 15 peices, to magnetize. Crafts stores have craft magnets that you can cut to size, so I grabbed a roll of that and went to town. However, the sticky side wasn't all that "sticky" and kept pulling away from the puzzle pieces. I ended up hot gluing the magnets on each piece. We will use the same cookie sheets that we brought as coloring tables and put puzzles together as they stick to the cookie sheet. Brilliant, eh? I thought so too!

Stamp It Out-

I found packs of stamp toppers at the Dollar Store and decided to make an activity out of it. I included a few sheets of paper in each ziploc packet as well. This can be fun to encourage counting skills. . .I plan to ask the kiddos to say, "Stamp 4 in a row" and so on. This should keep them busy for a bit. 

When All Else Fails, Signal Batman-

Okay, I cheaped out on most of the activities and snacks for the road so I thought I'd make up for it in the things that count. . .Superheroes!  I bought my duo two new superhero action figures, one for the road up, one for the road back.  Truthfully, these little men in capes will keep them occupied for about as long as a full movie. They will be battling it out against bad guys in the backseat for at least an hour or so each time. New toys are the best! And eavesdropping onto conversations such as, "Being a hero is dirty business!", "Take your shot, punk!", and "I'm about to rock your world, bad guy!" is just the kind of entertainment that I need after 500 miles. Hopefully, I'll get some much needed laughs out of the deal too. :)

Well, we leave in just TWO days! We plan to come back rested, sunburned, and just a little bit tired of each other. It should be a great time. Do me a solid and pray for our little family's safety over the weekend.  I'll sure have some fun stories to tell you whenever we return! Until then. . .I'm off to make memories. . .

Your Pet Is Not a Person

Yep, ya gotta love 'em. It's the law. Try not loving your pet and see what happens. Don't get the idea I'm against animals or having a pet or two. I have found myself fostering a few dogs lately and it has brought us to the decision that it is time we become part of normal society. . .we got a dog.  Not just any dog, mind you.  We rescued the above cutie from the local animal shelter just hours before she was due to be "put down". I intend to remind her frequently that we saved her life every single time she thinks about peeing on my carpet. She is a puppy (about 7 months old) and I find myself now having TWO little monsters to toilet train. Mr. Stinky Pants has decided he rather likes the "go potty outside" method as well. Before now, the two little monsters (boys) were all the animals I needed, but things change. But one thing that I will NOT change my mind about is this...animals are not people and shouldn't be treated as such. Please don't be offended. It's just a fact of life whether we act like it is or not. I've put a great deal of thought into this hypothesis (well, I did think about it for a little while anyway). I think I've come up with 10 definitive reasons we can all agree on proving my case.

Reason 1: Lousy conversationalists.

Pets don't talk. Notice I didn't say they can't. I said they don't. Other than the random bird or two, nothing. Not a word. They either have nothing to say, in which case, they're beneath us on the food chain as any person always has something to say no matter how insane. Or, they deem us unworthy of conversation whereby they station themselves far above us and remove themselves from the realm of peoplehood. If an entity has the gift of speech, sooner or later something is gonna happen requiring some sort of statement from that entity. Accidently drop a dozen eggs on the kitchen floor (done it). One of your cats will stand there watching you clean up the mess and I swear you can see what he's thinking, "Smooth move, Sherlock", but he doesn't utter a peep (or purr). We used to have a parrot that could only say "Dumb". (Thanks to my little brother). One of the cats ate him, I think. You'd have thought he'd yell for help.

Reason 2: They're pets.

They're pets! That should be enough right there to disqualify them as human. Yeah, we all have a pet we think of as a member of the family. We even give 'em our last name and act like they're somebody. They're a PET! What living, breathing, thinking human would allow themselves to become a pet?

Try this....go next door and buy your neighbor's 5 year old for, say, $500. Make sure you get the papers on him so you can register him (this is in case somewhere down the line you want to breed him and sell the forthcoming litter). Have him eat and drink from two little bowls with his name on them that have been place on the floor, usually next to the kitchen garbage can. Smack him on the nose whenever he does something wrong and make him use the bathroom out in the yard regardless of the weather. If you do indeed try this, call me when you've completed your prison sentence. We'll do lunch.

Reason 3: No sense of financial responsibility.

Money means nothing to our pets. They never seek to enter the job market, aren't concerned about earning a decent wage, do not buy American. They're just there, sponging off the rest of us, napping, eating, sleeping, scratching, sniffing their lives away. Blissfully ignorant of what it takes to survive in todays economy.

Case in point; my sister has a weenie dog. A very pampered weenie dog that constantly gets new toys from PetsMart, gourmet dog food, and the best of the best bacon treats. Yet he eats her shoes. Flip flops Nikes, Nine West heels, Coach boots, everything. How fiscally irresponsible can ya get?

Growing up on a few acres, we went through 50 bales of hay each year to feed the cows through the winter. Do you know that's about $20 a bale?! Do the math. Do you think that even once these cows have ever chipped in to cover the expense? Never! And, to add insult to injury, they won't just eat the darn hay. They have to walk on, pee on it, play in it or, sometimes, turn their noses up at it cause they obviously want something else.

Reason 4: Carpet is toilet paper.

Be honest. You've seen your pet do this. Drag his or her butt across the carpet. Somebody want to explain this to me? I once had a pet rabbit for a while that did the same thing so don't tell me it's worms (by the way, one of the cat was always trying to eat the rabbit. See, not human.)

When was the last time you went to a dinner party and at some point during the evening you, during conversation, excused yourself, pulled down your pants, drug your butt back and forth across the carpet a few times, pulled your pants up and said, "Whew, that's much better!"?

Wonder why the Johnsons never invite us over anymore?

Reason 5: Eat or drink anything.

As humans we're very selective regarding what goes into our mouths. Pets could care less. The grosser the better seems like. If you have a pet that drinks from the commode, raise your hand. Every hand went up. You ever drink from the commode? It taste funny cause of that blue stuff we put in the tank. Also, if you're not careful the lid falling can give you a concussion. We all know what we've seen dogs eat in the yard. I ain't going there.

I once had a friend in elementary school who had several praying mantis in an aquarium as pets. When they mated, the female ate the rest of the guys. First, this did help us distinguish which were male and which were female and second, sex ain't all that much fun for some pets. Some pets will eat their young. I'm not gonna say this is a bad thing. I have 2 boys. I've often thought eating your young before they became a real pain might not be such a bad thing. I didn't do it though. Not so much because I thought it was wrong, because I knew I'd never get away with it and I know what happened to Jeffery Dahmer when he was sent to prison. See, I'm human.

Reason 6: Body parts.

Most, but not all, pets have tails. Nothing wrong with a little tail. I've seen some very nice ones I'll admit. However, if you can put your tail in your mouth, or if you can chase it around in a circle and catch it, you're not human. No thumbs (unless you have a pet monkey). As a result, pets make lousy artists, mechanics, typists, they're no fun to pay catch with, they can't even hitchhike. I'll guarantee you've never had your pet thumb his nose at you.

They have cold noses. So do Alaskans but they have a good reason. It's pretty dang cold where they are. Pets' noses are cold when they're healthy. What's with that? If a human's nose is cold they do something about it. Pets could care less. As a matter of fact, I believe they're proud of the fact. Look at where they're always poking the cold thing!

Reason 7: Gaseous Gas.

Everyone has gas at one time or another. Yes, even your girlfriend, mom, gramma, etc. Everyone. If you didn't, you'd explode. No human has gas that comes remotely near that of indoor pets. You can be minding your own business, sitting on the sofa watching the game with your trusty dog, Lexi, by your side. Suddenly there's a wave of aroma washing over you that smells something like a dead beaver smoking a cheap cigar that was previously soaked in yak urine. Anything, or anybody for that matter, that can emit a smell like that is not only not human, they're not even from this planet.

Reason 8: No sense of self-preservation.

Horses will run right back into a burning barn. Dogs will chase 3,000 lb. automobiles, cats will climb miles up a tree knowing they can't possibly climb down. What gives? They're not just dumb or careless, they're not human. I'll be the first to admit we as humans can be pretty stupid. We drink and drive, participate in extreme sports, marry red-heads, etc. but, we learn from our mistakes for the most part. You can climb the tree or call the fire department to get the cat down and he'll run right back up the tree.

Animals appear not to care whether they live or die. There are so many sail animals (a sail animal is one that's been run over numerous times, dried, and can be thrown like a frisbee) on country roads you'd think the possum, rabbit, raccoon populations would be growing pretty thin. Which reminds me, if you see a possum and a lawyer run-over on the highway, how can you tell them apart? There are skidmarks in front of the possum.

'Nough said.

Reason 9: Pets have no depth perception.

I don't exactly know why I included this as a reason. I'm not even sure I know what I mean. Give me a break, I'm only human. I will tell ya this. My childhood dalmation would bark at and chase clouds. Haven't got a clue what that signifies but he did it.

Reason 10: Pets can't tell time.

Our pets have no concept of time. Whether you leave the house to go to the grocery or to Holland, your pet doesn't know the difference. When you return they're just as happy to see ya back from one trip as they are the other. To them, you weren't just going to be gone for an hour or a week, you were gone for good. I've never owned a pet that wore a watch. I don't think a single one of our cats or dogs has ever even glanced at a clock. There is one thing they do know. When it's time to eat. How do they know? These non-humans will stand at the kitchen door at the exact same time every morning and evening waiting for the lunch wagon and yet the same animal will set with me in the den watching the weather channel and still not get out of the rain he had to know was coming.

I rest my case.

However, for all of you pet lovers who think that I am harsh and have no heart and don't appreciate pets as you do. . .you are probably a bit right. But I love Miss Pepper.  As do my boys. Though she chews my flip flops and leaves a thick slime on every single toy that is left on the floor, I'm still so happy that we rescued her.  In fact, a big part of my new-found mission will be to see to it that more and more little fluffies at my local shelter get new forever homes. I've started a Facebook Page HERE called "We HEART Pets" with my sister who has successfully found about 100 animals new homes just by fostering them and running ads to find good homes. She has a super big heart for Furr-babies and so, it seems, do my little boys. We loved our first trip to the local pound and will be visiting a lot more frequently.  Share the link and page with your friends as we will be posting photos and info of many of these little cuties there who need new forever families. 

We love pets. We must admit. But don't think you will be spotting Miss Pepper in a Louie Voutan bag or Chanel sweater anytime soon. 

Pack Your Bags! We're Taking a Guilt-Trip

In honor of my upcoming Road Trip with the familia, here is a flashback of a post from the past. I'm in the middle of packing and cleaning and planning and laundering and really didn't have time to write anything brand-spankin new today. I know you don't mind. Besides, I know you (like me) need the reminder that we have a license to imperfection as parents.  It's okay to rest.  It's okay to take a moment. Dust off the annoyances of the day, and get back in there knowing we are doing the best we can.  So here ya go.  A little Monday motivation for ya!

**********************

Kids sure have a way of (figuratively) punching you right in the gut when you least expect it, don’t they?  Their unassuming words can wash a blanket of guilt right over you in nothing flat.  And before you know it, you’re feeling like the suckiest parent in the world and saving your pennies for the future therapy that your kid will inevitably need thanks to you.

Yes, sometimes, even when you dedicate over 98% of your day to your children, it’s still apparently not enough.  My son pointed this very fact out to me one night last week while tucking him into bed.  He was beyond tired and cranky and ready for sleep, and he blurted out an accusation so stinging that he might as well have stabbed me right in the heart.  Through a haze of tears and snot, he said, “You like your iphone more than you like me.“  Ugh.  That REALLY hurt.

Given that writing is my passion and that my ultimate goal is, in fact, to write a book some day, I am on my computer and phone a decent amount of the time.  And yeah, I like to hop on my Facebook here and there to keep me in check with the adult world since Phineas and Ferb are swirling around the background of my home 24/7.  And even though I know deep down in my heart that I bend over backwards and forwards to make my kids happy whenever I possibly can, my son’s weepy insinuation totally made me question every single one of my parenting skills.  I couldn’t help but think, “Have I been a bad mom?”

I swallowed the ginormous lump that was trying to take over my throat and told Mr. Grouch that I would choose him over my iphone any old day.  Naturally, he drifted off to Dreamland without so much as even a second thought, but I, however, stewed over this guilt all night long.  Why, as parents, do we do this to ourselves??!!  NOBODY is perfect (not even you, June Cleaver!), yet we kick our own butts over not being the perfect mom or the perfect dad.

 I have learned lately that I am the Queen of Guilt-tripping.  I take a new trip everyday, it seems.  I made them eat cereal before daycare instead of eggs and toast. . .Ooops, we left the house before reminding them (a third time) to brush their teeth. . .It's pizza for dinner instead of some homemade casserole concoction. . .I really shouldn't have a Mommy's Day Out today, my stinker has really been clingy lately. . .It's almost never-ending the amount of added stress that we as parents pour on ourselves everyday.  As I lose sleep, yet again over the words of my four-year-old tonight, one important fact spontaneously comes to mind.

On the seventh day, God rested.

Heaven knows His daily To-Do List rivals mine. Creating the sun and moon and stars and whatnot.  (I would like to point out that He did not have laundry to keep up with. . .but I know that issue is a separate post entirely!)  God walked with us everyday, but there were still other things to accomplish. Nothing necessarily more important than us, but the business of provision was still on His mind. And then, on the seventh day HE RESTED.  I need to remember this in those moments that I beat myself up for having a little "me-time" when the toddler duo is banging on the bathroom door full-force. I especially need to remind myself of this when my precious Grouch decides to make mommy (unpurposefully) feel like a complete failure right before bedtime. Who am I to think that I can take on more than God?  I need to embrace His example without guilt.
I never WILL be the perfect mom. But I strive to give them all I have everyday.  I could continue to dwell on ways to sacrifice even more of my sanity and moments of “recovery time” so that I don't have to get guilt-ridden accusations like I did tonight, but at some point, my efforts would be worthless. Because kids will always demand more. And more and more. They are attention-mongers who cannot be satisfied. Especially my precious monsters. So, although I will try harder not to prioritize anything above them, I will resolve to the fact that I'm enough. My kids have the most awesome mom ever. They just don't know it yet.

7 Sports That Should NOT Be Olympic Worthy

We’ve all accidentally turned the channel over to the Olympics at one time or another and thought, “What are they doing? Is this even a sport?” Some of the stuff that they have deemed worthy of Olympic medals are absolutely ridiculous. Here are the most laughable of those choices.

7. TAEKWONDO

I don’t understand how this is a sport. I guess some consider it an art, but to me it is just jumping around and doing Ninja Turtle stuff. If doing that’s worthy of a medal, then the Olympic committee owes the 8-year old version of myself several.

6. GOLF

Golf is not a sport; it’s a hobby. If out of shape old men can still compete and win then this needs to be taken off of the table. I realize it takes a lot of skill to play this game, but the same can be said for Scrabble, but you don’t see anyone handing out medals for that, do you?

5. FENCING

Sword fighting in a beekeeper’s uniforms, do I even need to explain? Next!

4. EQUESTRIAN

Ok, so the horse is in amazing shape and can do all kinds of impressive things. Fine. If that’s the case how about opening it up to dogs that can fetch really well or maybe sneezing pandas. They already have an Equestrian World Cup or something for horses, I think. Let’s keep it that way.

3. ARCHERY

Again, if you don’t have to be in shape to do it then it’s really not a sport. This is another one that falls into the skill category. Let them have their own award show.

2. TABLE TENNIS

This is a joke. Table tennis? What’s next foosball? Maybe beer pong? Yes, that scene in Forrest Gump was pretty funny, but the funniest part is that they hand out real medals. Guys who break world records for running, swimming, and weight lifting who have trained their body’s for years are handed out the same medals are guys who are good at ping pong. Lame.

1. CURLING

Have you ever seen this? It makes absolutely no sense at all. Look it up on YouTube. From what I can gather you basically stand in the middle of a hockey rink, scoot these things while you lay out across the ice, and then you sweep the floor. My question is who saw this and connected the dots to, “This should be an Olympic Sport.” Seriously, what were they thinking? Fail.

I hope there aren’t any equestrian curler fencing experts who have a passion for ping pong that read this blog, other wise I probably offended some people. In which case they should know I make a spectacle of myself everyday and know nothing about real sports. Except maybe competitive eating. Future gold medalist right here. So I'd love your thoughts. . . . Do you disagree with any of my choices?

"Mom, What's A Stereotype?"

“Mom,” Mr. Grouchy Pants asks, nonchalantly, with a face full of tacos even though I’ve asked him a bazillion times not to talk with his mouth full, mostly to avoid exactly what is coming next.

“Mom, what is stereotypes?” I….um…you…lightbulbs…math…err. Where does he come up with this stuff? And who in their right mind used that word around my four-year-old?!

I try to have family dinner every night so that everyone can talk about their days with each other and we can attempt to live together, not just merely co-exist. The awesome side-effect of this is that the children feel comfortable asking just about anything, so long as it is asked over supper (amidst their fighting over who got more yogurt and who's finishing their green beans before whoever else is sitting at the table). The awkward side-effect of this is that sometimes daddy is busy or has a gig (hence the part-time musician thing) leaving me to deal with the deep questions by myself whilst trying to eat dinner peaceably.  

Now I get to watch my taco get cold while I try to figure out how to explain genderism, racism, and discrimination before dessert.  Dang BC and his need to be an "artist" at the most inopportune times!

My knee-jerk reaction to this whole scenario is of course, ignorance. Maybe if I told him that I didn't know, then that would suffice until Daddy got home. Or I could try to change the subject and we could talk about something trivial, like how the sun, the moon, and the stars work.  But then I've not only lied, I seem like a loser of a mom; to not know the simplest of things of course, means that I have failed at life and should just start collecting my cats now.

Conversely, the answer I think I have to give him opens his mind up to a world I'm not sure I ever want him to see, so I stir my guacamole around on my plate and overthink the crap out of this.  

How do I explain what a stereotype is without instilling those very stereotypes into his head? How do let him keep the notion he has that pretty much everyone is the same while I teach him that a lot of people unjustifiably assume that a lot of other people suck and/or excel at a lot of fairly ordinary things? How far back in history do I have to go to explain where these ideas we all seem to have about each other came from and once I get there, do I have enough real-world examples to serve as the anti-venom to the poisons I’m about to introduce to his psyche and why the heck didn’t anyone tell me this parenting thing would be so complicated?  

And now I wish I’d just made a light salad for dinner.  

So I start taking inventory of everyone I’ve ever known in my whole life and start lining up my counter-attack. ‘Okay, so, you’re blonde, you know, and you’ve never had so much as one puppy,’ I say to myself. Your grandpa is half-German and he's a smoker, your favorite cousin is part-Asian and she couldn’t she's currently being raised by her white grandparents. . . and I start to think that maybe, just maybe, I’m ready to answer this question.  

I’ve completely lost my appetite, worrying how the answer to this is going to affect his sensitive little heart, but I’m ready.  

At the last minute, he looks at me and says, “You know, you can always ask your phone. Sometimes it can tell you answers you don't know, Mom. It's called 'Giggle'.”

Oh, how precious is HE that he feels he has stumped me with these deep ponderings of his. . .But just in case, I “google” stereotypes. Yes. . .although this may lead to an hour-long session about the unfairness of man, I am just going to go with this. . .“Stereotypes are popular assumptions we make about groups of people, based on a lot of nothing,” to which my kid says, “Oh, okay” and finishes his taco.  

OKAY?? And you're satisfied with that?! But truthfully I am releasing a sigh of relief. If only all the answers were this easy.

My Way Is NOT Best

I often joke about the negative things motherhood has brought to my life- lack of sleep, no free time, an acceleration of the aging process, increased need for wine, etc.  The truth is, motherhood has brought an innumerable amount of positive things to my life as well.  In addition to the great things about my kids, becoming a mom has developed a more compassionate and non-judgmental side to my personality that I might not have had otherwise.  Instead of being annoyed or just walking past the mom with the screaming baby in the grocery store, I’m much more likely to ask if there’s anything I can do to help.  When I see someone with a different parenting style than mine, I try hard to understand and be respectful of the fact that we aren’t all the same, instead of automatically assuming what they are doing is wrong. Believe me, this skill has developed over time.  At first, I was one of "those moms" too. Thinking that I knew what was best, but after many a sleepless night, uncontrolled tantrums (not mine), and moments of realization that I had NO IDEA what I was doing as a parent, I've opened my eyes to a new perspective. No one has it figured out! Everyone has moments of utter desperation, and everyone has moments of triumph in parenthood. No one has a right to think they have it all together. 

 
I think part of my hesitation to judge others, especially other moms, comes from the fact that my own parenting and lifestyle choices have been judged by family and friends.  And honestly, it doesn’t feel too good.  I had a conversation with my mom the other day regarding correct ways to discipline. We all do it differently.  I must admit, before kids, I was the stiff in the high heels looking down my nose at the disheveled mom who wouldn't bend her unruly child over her knee for a swift "coming to Jesus" moment. What are these mom's problems?! What this child needs is a good beat-down! But as a mom, I realized in a quick minute that all children are different and the discipline that works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. Another judgement that was made by a few friends was my choice to not breastfeed. In all fairness, I had some extenuating circumstances surrounding my delivery that put off my ability to breastfeed the boys the first few days of their lives and after those days, my body decided that milk wasn't necessary. Thanks, boobs, for the vote of confidence. After some discouragement, I decided not to continue to try any longer and that decision seemed to be a big deal to some. This was a decision that many new moms make, but I’m not going to judge someone who chooses something different that what I did.  (By the way, the intention of this blog is not to start a debate about the acceptable amount of time to breastfeed.)       
 
I’ve had others question a variety of decisions I’ve made, from how much weight I gained during my pregnancy (Holy 72 lbs!), to what I feed my kids, to how much tv I let them watch.  The interesting thing is that it’s mostly been moms who do it, less out of concern, but more because I’m doing something different than how they’d recommend.  I would think that every mom has experienced this at one time or another, so moms should be the most sensitive to this kind of criticism.  Yet that doesn’t seem to be the case.  My feeling is that unless a child is in danger (which definitely isn’t the case in my situation), most parents know their kids better than anyone else.  They are trying to do a good job of raising them and making the decisions they think are best.  It’s fine to offer feedback when asked, but be careful about telling someone they aren’t doing something right just because it’s different.
 
I think this lesson can apply in many aspects of life, not just parenting.  Our society tends to judge anyone who is different for whatever reason:  because of their size, religion, income level, political views -- the list goes on and on.  I know it sounds a little idealistic, but I think it would be nice if we could learn to understand and accept differences instead of always assuming our way is the best way.
 
What do you think?

A Goodnight Mooning

One of my absolute favorite things to do with my kids is to read to them. . .ok, I'm lying. This is a big, fat, lie, seems how they can never sit still for a whole story and insist on creating what should normally be a calming bedtime ritual, a circus.  Since I happen to have a borderline obsession with children’s books, though, I get absolutely giddy when they want to share in my love of literature (kinda).   That’s why the bedtime story is one of my most treasured times of the day (eye roll) — that is, until one of my little monsters decide to moon me right in the freakin’ middle of Goodnight Moon.

And so it was the other night, when we all settled in to my sons room to get all cozy with a good read.  My oldest was snuggling Rocky, the dog we seem to be fostering for the time being, as he "adopted me" on one of my nightly runs last week.  The little Stinker was hanging from his bunk bed like a monkey, and my hubby was listening from the next room, playing some form of Zombie-killing game.  Now this may seem odd to some families, but to ours, this is pretty much the general state of the union around here.  Yes, everyone was totally and completely mesmerized by the brush and the bowl of porridge and the red balloon.

But just as I was about to wrap up my tale-telling for the evening, my youngest son, the comedian, took it upon himself to squash the warm and fuzzy mood in the room in one fell swoop.  He stood on his bed, turned around, and promptly dropped trou right then and there.  I glanced up from the book just in time to see a bare naked little tushy wiggling from side to side in front of me.

Really, dude?  Now how was I supposed to act all parent-y while my son was so proudly displaying his first official “full moon“?  So I did the only thing I could do.  I made a beeline out of the room so he wouldn’t hear all my giggling.  And then I gave him silent props for giving me a very witty end to our story time. Goodnight Moon, indeed, child.  Touche'.