A Day in the Life of a Blogger

Being a blogger is hard work.  I mean it’s haaaard work.

Beyond the obvious time and dedication that is required, blogging occupies every facet of your mind. I mean, you can’t even go pee in the public washroom at Walmart, without wondering if and how the subject matter will be introduced into a post.

My day begins innocently enough. I promise myself that today is the day I am NOT going to think about my blog. Today I am going to concentrate on my family.
My family.
They’re a nice bunch of people.

As I skip to my kitchen, feeling lighter; free from the cage that has been my laptop, I am thinking about what I could pack in my two children’s lunches; a little something to show them how much I really love them.

I know!
I’ll write a note: Dear Son, I <3 U. (He still can't read, you know. . .but he will know what this means.)

…And then as I reread the note, I giggle.
Because I’ve written it in bright pink highlighter and when he opens his lunch bag and the note falls out, his friends are going to be able to see every word.
Is he getting to the age where things like this will embarrass him?…

Then I think about taking a picture of the note because it would really accentuate the blog post I’m going to write about my son’s humiliation.
And then I’m like, No! No posts today!

The day continues on. The children are sent off to school, and other than the comment my 5-year-old made about his piece of toast looking like a boob (it didn’t…’cause if it had I would have taken a picture of it), I have not found anything blog worthy.

The rest of the afternoon is a series of menial tasks such as paying bills, doing housework, and grocery shopping, which bore me so much, I need a nap.

Napping though…well, any kind of sleep, is a blogger’s most productive activity, or rather inactivity.
Any kind of lull in my day allows my mind the freedom to scour the past days and weeks, frantically searching for a nugget of funny that can be expanded upon into a full-blown blog post.

Did I or somebody in my family trip? Say a bad word? Clog the toilet? Step in dog poo? Make a poo? Talk about poo?…poo is a really good one…

No. No good poo stories, but my oldest monster does have the stinkiest feet…and I did catch him wrestling his little brother to the ground, and as though he were planting a flag at the top of the  mountain, he successfully stuck his baby toe in his nostril.

Yes…Yes! A post!

Struggling free from the covers, I spring towards my laptop, and begin to write.
The world would probably benefit from a post expounding the pros and cons of the health care system.
But “The Smelly Toe Versus the Small Boy” is created and highly acclaimed with several retweets, Facebook “likes,” and comment love.

But tomorrow, tomorrow is a new day.
Tomorrow, I PROMISE I won’t blog.