The Post That's Going Nowhere. . .

As you read this, my familia grande is headed to the beautiful beaches of South Padre Island, TX. Be very jealous!  This is our first beach vaca as a whole family and we decided to take the grandparents as moral support. Okay, really, they invited us, and we accepted the offer of an amazing condo on the beach with promises of a view to die for and some "private time" for me and the Mr. while we're there.  How could we say No!?

Did I mention that we're "road-tripping" it? This is also a first. Two toddlers in a car for 13 hours one way may just be the death of us all, but we started praying for peaceful travels about a week ago and I invested in really trendy zebra print duct tape as a last resort. No seriously.  I wouldn't do that, but what I have done is extensive research in how (Pinterest/Google/Mommy Bloggers everywhere) advise on keeping wee monsters busy in the car for that long without major meltdowns. Another post will outline how exactly that worked out for us. My fingers are crossed. Twice. Start sending prayers our way! I'm not entirely ecstatic about being in the car that long myself, so I'm hoping that I don't have the hubs drop me at a random rest area a quarter of the way there. . .

Speaking of Pinterest and other Bloggers (we were talking about them right? I can't seem to keep up with my own thoughts today. . .) Have I mentioned in awhile that I have another blog as well? I'm going to be honest, I'm not as witty and hilarious over there.  It's about going From Couch Potato to Marathon Mom in less than a year.  I'm not gonna blow smoke your way, folks. . .it's not looking good. Mainly because it's 118 degrees everyday here in Oklahoma and the wind is not "sweeping down the plains" lately. It's hotter than Hades, and that's an understatement.  Who wants to run in that shaz?! Not this mama, I'll tell ya that much! But if you like learning an ametuer's tips and tricks for leading a healthy lifestyle, or just think it would be mildly entertaining to hear all about me tripping over my shoelaces every other day, then check it out. Really. . .right now.  Tell me your thoughts. . .I'll wait for your return.  I have nothing better to do with my time tonight. . .

Except maybe child wrangle. That's right, it's 9:30 p.m. and my children are still awake. Can I hear all you "perfect mothers" GASP?!  First of all, how in the heck do you do it? If you truly exist. . .these moms that I hear of that keep their little ones on a strict schedule and put them to bed promptly at 7:30 p.m. and cuddle up next to their love on the couch for some peaceful grown-up time. . .the idea is so elusive to me. Like Bigfoot.  (Speaking of which, have any of you seen the show Finding Bigfoot??? Show of the year, I tell ya!)  Back to why my rugrats are still up and going strong. . .their parents are big screw-ups and our need for an afternoon nap at 4:00 p.m. won out over keeping our precious duo's routine in check so ALL OF US slept til 7:00 p.m.  I have a feeling it will be a long evening. We also happen to be enjoying pizza and breadsticks for dinner. At 9:30 p.m. Sometimes you can just tell that someone is looking at you and thinking, "How in the world did any hospital let them take these children home?" and to that I say, "Good question. I have NO idea." We're winners.

So the point of this post (I promise that there was one to begin with) was to mirror so many of these bloggers "Get To Know Me" posts.  The ones where you tell everyone everything that they never really wanted to know about you in the first place.  I realized that I've never done one of those. And I'm not even sure who started the whole idea, so here is me giving credit and linking up to Anonymous Brilliant Mommy Blogger whose idea this was in the first place. You can thank them when you realize that you now know more about me than you ever wanted to know.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? 
Nope, not that I'm aware. My dad said "Let it be" and my mom didn't argue.  I think they did alright. I can think of a LOT worse than Miss Banana Pants --Okay, really it's Michelle Nicole, but same diff.


2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 
Probably the last time that my in-laws told us they would take the kids for the whole weekend. Or when my 3-year-old went #2 in the potty chair. It's a close one. 


3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? 
I seriously have amazing handwriting.  I wish you could all see it. You would be so incredibly jealous.  I attribute it to the many years I was in cheerleading and forced to practice doodling "GO BRONCOS" in giant bubble letters. 


4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
I've always had a hatred for lunch meat.  Mainly because I don't do edges on things. It's a texture thing.  Can't stand the way it feels in my mouth. I realize that I'm odd. But since you are forcing me to choose, I'd say turkey. Edge-less.


5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 
I have two adorably mischevious boys. Noah Scott--Mr. Grouchy Pants is 5 and starting kindergarten this year (Hallelujah!) and Micah Benjamin--Mr. Stinky Pants is barely 3 and leading us on a heckova potty-training adventure.


6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? 
Absolutely.  But I'd be a bit annoyed at me at times. I can be irritatingly witty and humorous and possibly make all my friends seem boring in comparison. I'm also super humble. The whole package, folks. 

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? 
Never. That's ridiculous.


8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? 
As a matter of fact, I do.  I also still have my toes, tongue, wisdom teeth, gallbladder, and hoo-ha. Some of these questions. . .why would anyone even care. Moving on. 


9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Not if you paid me a million zillion dollars. The feeling of falling for me rates right up there with the desire that I have to allow 10 giant tarantulas crawl on my naked body. 

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? 
If I were to be honest with you, I would say Reeses Peanut Butter Puffs.  But since I'm trying to make you (and myself) think that I'm on a healthy lifestyle kick, I will say Special K Vanilla Almond Flakes.  That's my final answer. 

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? 
I try pretty hard to not wear shoes. And when I do, it's flip flops 99% of the time. Come to think of it, I don't remember tying or untying shoes in years. 

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? 
Physically, I'm working on it . Emotionally I’m a Rock of Ages.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? 
Probably Strawberry. I like pink things. 

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? 
Whether or not they are smiling. And whether or not they have facial hair.  If you're a guy, this is a GREAT thing.  If you are a girl. . .NOT so much. 

15. RED OR PINK? 
Underwear? Socks? Bow Ties? Be a tad more specific people. 

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? 
My second child was ripped from my body through a very attractive incision just below my belly button.  I show it to everyone. It's the highlight of my battle wounds. Nah, really, it sucks and I hate it. I will probably never wear a bikini again and this brings great grief to my heart. 

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? 
I have to say, in all seriousness, my grandma.  She was the crankiest, most sarcastic, yet loving women I've ever met. I like to think that I recieved all of her greatest attributes. 

18. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING THAT YOU THINK ABOUT IN THE MORNING?
Food. And whether or not I should go for Peanut Butter Puffs or Special K. 

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
We've went over this. I abhor shoes. Therefore, I am barefoot.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
The pizza that we bought for dinner just didn't hit the spot, so the hubs stopped and got me a Caramel Apple Empenada from Taco Bell. It's heaven in a hot pocket form. 

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? 
The sounds of my little monsters fighting over who gets to be Buzz and who gets to be Woody in their pretend  world. 

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? 
Yellow.  I like to "Liven". That's my thang. 

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Freshly mowed grass and the scent of a campfire. 

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? 
My sister. She works the night shift at the ER and has the funniest stories of all the crazy reasons these weirdos find themselves in the ER at midnight. She should really have her own blog. No lie. 

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
I would live on the beach. End of story. 

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? 
Thunder Basketball and OU Sooner Football. 

27. HAIR COLOR? 
Which season is it? Naturally, I'm a dirty blonde. That's a color, not a personality trait. 

28. EYE COLOR? 
(The color of the ocean) blue. 

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? 
I've got perfect vision. Just ask my kids. I don't miss a thing. 

30. FAVORITE FOOD? 
Queso. (I just said that in a very hispanic accent too.)

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? 
Happy endings. Preferably if they happen on a beach somewhere.  

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? 
Batman: Dark Knight Rising

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? 
I'm in a red striped sundress. Without a bra. Because ain't nobody got time for that. 

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? 
Currently, it's smoldering here in Oklahoma.  Like 118 degrees and that is void of exaggeration. So I vote for a mild winter. 

35. HUGS OR KISSES? 
I'll take both. Wrap them up.

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? 
Caramel Apple Empenada. oh em gee. 

37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
I'd much rather run around that lift heavy things that don't need to be moved. 

38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
TV. Law & Order Marathons. Enough said. 

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? 
Reading "Momfluential" by someone that I can't remember right now.  I'm terrible.  But it's a good one. Go out and get a copy. 

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? 
I am on a laptop so it has a cute touch pad. No mouse pad. 

42. FAVORITE SOUND? 
Silence. Something I don't get very often. 

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? 
They are both old and classic. I'd much rather tune into something full of janky rap lyrics about booties and droppin it like it's hot and hammer time. Let's keep the momentum up, yo.  

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Ghana, Africa. Never felt so lost and so found all at the same time.  I'll have to do a post about that soon. Note to self. 

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? 
I'm a certified professional child wrangler. Don't try this without proper training. 

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? 
Oklahoma City, OK

47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
Edmond, America. Where you'll find bison statues around every corner and the smell of dogfood permeates the streets every Tuesday, courtesy of the Purina plant. It's heaven on earth. 

48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
A vibrant beige color. 

49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
An equally vibrant brown color. But at least it's not a mini-van. No, I'm not hating. I just hate them as much as I hate edges on my deli meat. 

50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?
It's been an exciting time. 


And here, for your viewing pleasure is a photo of me at this very moment. Taken, ever so professionally by Mr. Grouchy Pants. :)

(**And then of course, edited slightly by me because I can't afford to have you see my zits and/or my lack of bra. You're welcome.)