This Just In!

If you are new to the Miss Banana Pants scene, you should know 3 things about me. . .first, my kids drive me crazy. This is a "deliriously-happy-yet-tear-my-hair-out kind of crazy". I love them. This is obvious. But sometimes I need to be 500 yards away from them or I may duct tape them to a wall. Why? Because they are curious. . .about EVERYTHING. The questions ABOUND. Raising a five-year-old is like playing a daily game of 20 Questions. . . .6,578,923 times in a row. I know that I have been put here to teach, instruct, guide, and foster their growing mind and love for learning. But sometimes their curiosity is JUST. TOO. MUCH. I don't have all the answers. I don't know what to say! Secondly, you should know that I love facial hair. My husband uses this fact against me and sports a healthy growth of scruff to tempt me on a daily basis. I will admit that men everywhere know my secret as well. If you see a boy with a little afternoon shadow walking around Wal-Mart in Edmond, Oklahoma, just know he's doing it on purpose to try to catch my eye. I will not buckle under pressure. I will remain faithful to my first love. (Swoon) What does this have to do with anything?. . .well, it brings me to the third thing that you should know about Miss Banana Pants. . .I have an extreme heart for parenting parents. You see, all kidding and sarcasm aside, I didn't have the best parents myself. My dad had a mustache (probably contributed to my affection for facial hair later in life) But really. . . Who's were perfect?! Sometimes (almost daily) growing up, I would wonder what in the world God was thinking when He paired me with such a dysfunctional home-life. I had so many questions, so much I wanted to know and be taught, and my parents were too wrapped up in their own drama and the turmoil that comes with a nasty divorce to recognize that I needed TEACHERS. I needed someone to mirror, to look to for teenage advice about boys and life and God, and so many times, I was left to experiment and find all the answers by myself. I don't want my boys to have this dilemma. I want to be there for their incessant questions. And more than that, it's my desire to ultimately help other parents get to that place where they realize the amazing responsibility that they have right in front of them. Parenting. What a hard job. . .especially as they get older, and the questions turn from superheroes to sex, drugs, and rock & roll (well, maybe I'm looking forward to the questions about rock & roll. . .)

My good friend, Chris Spradlin who blogs over at EpicParent shares this same passion! His website provides ALL KINDS of relevant parenting advice and tips from someone who knows and is walking this road with us! He's put together an E-Book (HIS FIRST) that is just plain AWESOME and I just had to share it with you!!

Why should you read it?

• According to research from Family Safe Media, the largest group of viewers of Internet porn is children between ages 12 and 17.

• In 2001, a study by social psychologists at the London School of Economics showed that 9 out of 10 children (ages 11 to 16) had viewed pornography on the internet.

• National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and CosmoGirl.com reported that 20% of teens overall have sent or posted nude or semi-nude pictures or videos of themselves.

• According to the National Youth Risk Behavior Survey:  47.8 percent of High School students are having sex.

• The Department of Health and Human Services  found that 30 percent of 15- to 17-year-old girls had experienced sex.

• The Department of Health and Human Services reports that 13 percent of girls and 15 percent of boys have had sex before the age of 15.

• Centers for Disease Control (CDC) report that by the age of 20,  nearly three fourths of all teens have had sex.

• The Centers for Disease Control reports that 70 percent of teenagers ages 15 to 17 have engaged in oral sex.

NUFF SAID!

You can download it HERE. 

As if you can't just take my word for it. . .here is a little sneak peak into what this who e-book is about. . . .

SAMPLE EXCERPT FROM SEX, LUST, & XXX

For several years I lived in the snow globe winter wonderland known as Steamboat Springs, a ski resort in Colorado. This is a town where the marching band “marches” in cross country skis, businesses open late when there are eighteen or more inches of fresh powder, and dogs have more rights than people.

For years I was on staff at Euzoa Bible Church, situated in the “Beverly Hills” area of Steamboat Springs. The property that Euzoa sat on would absolutely blow your mind: Thirty acres in the mountains, epic pine trees that stretch to the clouds, a spring-fed pond where we played ice hockey in the winter, and foxes, owls, porcupines, moose, and black and cinnamon bears. In fact, I’ve had more than my fair share of frightening, wet-my-pants encounters with these bears. But that comes with the territory.

My oldest son, Cole (a.k.a. Coletrain, a.k.a. Train), was once sitting on the pier that stretches over Euzoa’s pond. He had just tugged his shoes off, taking a moment to contaminate the pure water with his nasty junior high boy feet, when suddenly he spotted a huge, monster-headed, cinnamon bear heading his way. Cole jumped up, thrust his chest out, stood on his very tippy toes, stretched his arms to the sky, stared the bear down, and started praying his guts out as loud as he could.

Even if you don’t know much about bears, you probably realize that this approach is not recommended for bear scaring. But I hadn’t led Cole through his official Team Sprad “What to do when you encounter an eight-foot bear when Dad’s not around” course yet. I guess Train was just hoping that this Goliath would feel (and smell) the Mighty Wrath of Cole and hightail it back into the woods. But I’ll tell you the rest of this little episode later…
Another time several years ago, I was out at the Euzoa Church property, burning a little midnight oil trying to get some work done. When I finished, I walked out the front door of my office only to be greeted by a monstrous black bear standing right in front of me. When this twenty-foot-tall beast saw me, he reared up on his tree-trunk hind legs, raised his two-foot-long claws into the air, bared his ninja-sword fangs, started thrashing his bulldozer head around, and let out a deafening growl that cracked the earth beneath him. (And worse, he got his slobber all over me.)

At that moment, I may have wet myself…just a little bit.

So we were standing there, face to face (or I guess, more like face to bellybutton) and time stood still. And then, in that slow-motion moment, I pulled up my Daniel-san Karate Kid crane technique from the Eighties. I raised my arms, lifted my left knee, and then let it drop it–BAM! He never saw it coming. I kicked that giant bear square in the gut with my right foot, knocking the fight clean out of him!
No? Okay. Then try this one:

I screamed like a seven-year-old girl and darted back into my office, slamming the door behind me. Then I crouched, shivered, and cried under my desk for what seemed like at least an hour.

I don’t remember exactly. It was pretty dark that night. But it was one of those two outcomes.

Parents, there is a monstrous, eight-foot bear looming over your kids, poised to devour them!

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.” –John 10:10a

Mom and Dad, this bear’s name is Satan, and he is a destroyer! He has deadly claws and fangs that rip flesh, and he is hovering over your kids. If you don’t act, he will steal your daughter’s virginity! If you don’t DO something, he will steal your kids’ innocence! He will kill their relationship with Jesus! He will kill their purity! And he will destroy their lives!

We live in a world today that is saturated with Lust, Sex, and Triple XXX. And it is OUR responsibility to protect our kids’ hearts.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” –Proverbs 4:23

It is our job–no, it is our great privilege–to guard, surround, protect, stand up for, and fight for our kids’ hearts.

Throughout this ebook, I’m going to share with you expansions on stories and ideas that I’ve written during the last couple of years. I am passionate about helping parents just like you cultivate purity in your family–even in this sex-saturated world.

Okay, so go get your copy! Again. . .you can download it for FREE HERE. If your kiddos are small, as mine are, get it and file it away for the future! Someday, those questions about Dora the Explorer and Sponge Bob will turn to the opposite sex, God, and what all this "sex stuff" is about. . .Be prepared! 

Happy Wednesday, folks!