I Lost My Mind

I LOST MY MIND

I think I've lost some memory
since my precious boys were born;
I don't remember sleeping late
on a lazy Sunday morn.
I don't remember quiet dinners
with candlelight and wine,
Or getting up and ready for work
and making it there on time.
I don't remember summer days
just lounging on the beach,
And those memories of "girls' night out"
are somehow out of reach.
I don't remember long, warm baths
with bubbles and a good book,
Or my favorite TV program,
or a movie worth a look.
I can't remember all those things
I spent time on yesterday,
And I can't remember my life
being any other way.
But as I lay them down at night,
I smile at life this time;
I can't remember so much happiness,
Since the day I lost my mind.

7-11 Project: Revising My "Fat, Lazy Loser Complex"

Well, let's see. My own opinion of myself as a "fat, lazy, procrastinating loser" has been raised a few notches. I will now be known as just "fat, lazy loser", as I have not so much procrastinated this week as simply been RUSHING around like a mad woman trying to accomplish all the things that I've set my mind to. I've come up a tad short. I've not scratched off as many things on the 7-11 Project as I would have liked, but I'm trying to look at it from the "glass-half-full" perspective. Please join me in patting myself on the back for what I have gotten done. So without further ado:

1. Write 11 blog posts.

The amazing thing about blogger is my ability to write drafts, and then schedule them for future postings. I could lie to you people and say that I am Superwoman and have written ALL ELEVEN POSTS and scheduled their release. Consequently, there should have been a #12 on my 7-11 Project List that read, "Work on not exaggerating so much." Since 10 times out of 9, you'll find me exaggerating about something, I'll tell you that I am secretly working on this problem. So. . . . .honestly, I have composed 4 posts (including last Wednesday's first one). I'm pretty proud of myself actually. You'll see them on my Wednesday posts coming up in October. :) Aren't you pumped?! . . .I thought you would be.


2. Do/visit/try 11 new things or places.

Last week, I started "Biblical Counseling Courses". I cannot tell you how excited I am at this new opportunity. It's 3 semesters of courses on the ins-and-outs of biblical counseling and psychology and then I will be able to take my certification testing to be a counselor. This is something that I've always wanted to do. Lord knows, I've gone through my own share of counselors growing up (as much of my childhood/early adulthood has been something short of fully-functional). The more experiences that God brings me through, the more I hear him behind me saying, "Now help others with these same problems". So not only is this a new experience, and one to scratch off the list, it is also a door opening to future possibilities in ministry, which I'm super excited about!


3. Read 11 books.

I have read ONE whole book since Micah was born. ONE. This is such a huge deal since I was known all through school and college as "Michelle, the Bookworm". I was always the girl getting the cheesy trophy at the awards ceremony at the end of the year. . .the one with an open book in bronze and the plaque that read, 100 Books Read in One Year. What a geek, I know. It makes the fact that I've read ONE book in 2.5 years even more of a sad truth. Actually, let's be real honest. I've read 1.3 billion kids books in the last few years. I've only read ONE that wasn't printed on thick cardboard and have furry, pop-up pictures attached. Since you're dying to know, the only book I've read as of late was "Heaven Is For Real" by Todd Burpo (excellent!). Since the dawn of the 7-11 Project (okay, slightly before), I began this new book:

I am only halfway through it, but I am LOVING it. I know it's been somewhat of a "controversial" book, so to speak. I look at it from a fictional standpoint. It has done a lot in expanding my spiritual mind on who God truly is to me. Although I can't quite scratch this off the bucket list just yet, I highly recommend giving it a chance. For anyone who would like to borrow it, I can assure you I'll be done with it by Wednesday. :)

4. Memorize 11 new scripture verses.

Let me begin by telling you this. This goal is in no way imposing, or suggesting to my friends that unless you memorize every chapter in Proverbs, you are a poor excuse for a Christian human being. You will not go to hell, you will not have 7 years bad luck in love, and your head will not spontaneously combust. Scripture memory has been something that I've been personally convicted about accomplishing for myself and to help pass on wise counsel to my kiddos. I do believe that it can be a help in many other situations for anyone, and recommend it, but I'm not going to drag you into the streets for a public flogging if you happen to disagree with me. :) With that said, I have really tried to pick out 11 scriptures that I think would be beneficial for me to remember on a individual basis. The one I am committing to this week is Psalm 46:10--"Be still and know that I am God." Before you roll your eyes at the simplicity (and length) of my first verse, be aware. . .if you know ME at all, and my personality, you will agree that nothing about Michelle is ever, EVER STILL. Especially my mouth (so my husband says). Not only am I wanting to memorize this verse, I'm wanting to get it. Really GET IT. As a woman who is a natural-born busybody; as a mom who feels the constant need to over-achieve; as a writer who consistently feels the pressure to say something life-changing or awe-inspiring. . .I am never just still, patiently waiting for God's will and His words. This is a daily battle. One that hopefully, with prayer and Psalm 46:10's help, will really take hold in me.

On an even BIGGER note, can I brag on my son for a minute?! (If not, please discontinue reading. This will only take a second.) After church this Sunday, my adorable (yet usually Grouchy) 4-year-old greeted me after his class with a proud grin. "I learned a bible verse, Mommy! Wanna hear it??" Are you kidding me?! "Of course!!" He proceeds with this:






I'm slowly, but surely learning this one truth about life: Just when you think you've become the teacher. . .God reminds you that you are never too old or too smart to be taught.

xoxo,

Becoming a Grown-Up. . .Starting Tomorrow

Procrastination. This word could describe my whole existence. I'm convinced I would get nothing accomplished if it weren't for the very last minute. Heck, I wouldn't even BE here if it weren't for the last minute. You see, my birthday was supposed to be August 28Th (the same as my grandma's). But August 28Th came and went and my poor mother wondered if I would EVER decide to come out. She likes to tell the story of how, if given the choice, I “would've gone to college in the womb”. For it wasn't until almost a full month later that I made my screaming debut to the world. And by sheer force, at that. I arrived safely, but not before holding on for dear life, as I broke one of my mother's ribs in the process (sorry Mom!). And that's me in a nutshell. . .right on time; not a minute before, and more frequently, a few minutes behind schedule.

The truth is, I can't stand this about myself. Though I most often accomplish what I need to at JUST the right moment, not leaving any wiggle room on time just shows sheer lack of responsibility as a grown adult. That is what I am. . .or at least pretend to be. A GROWN-UP. I have my doubts on a daily basis, though I see the amount of candles on the cake increasing every year. It's somewhat hard to change a habit that has taken 21 years + 9 years experience to perfect. In high school, I was always that person that was up the night before a final, slamming back red bulls and cramming every last bit of info in that I could before the sun came up. After college, I was the one staying up well after midnight, the night before a big job interview to do a load of laundry that I will need for the next morning. So it should have not come as a shock to anyone that I would inevitably be the crazy pregnant lady who waited til I was dilated to a THREE with my first child and ready to be admitted to the hospital to realize I had put off buying a car seat. What kind of profesional procrastinator stalls the doctor a few hours so they can walk through Target and pick out a car seat hours before delivery. Had my procrastination reached it's all-time peak?! Maybe I thrive on the thrill and excitement of sliding in at the last minute. Maybe it's the rush I enjoy. No matter how you look at it, all it reveals about me is that I am an idiot. A hopeless procrastinator that desperately needs to grow-up and start living among the "responsible adults" who actually think past lunch into the near future and come up with a tentative plan. For dinner even. We should start with baby steps.

The hilarious thing about my procrastination is that I have no excuse. I've given myself plenty of time to work on time-management skills. Even though I wait until the eleventh hour, I am also a perpetual list-maker. I make lists for everything......from weekly meal plans, to daily household chores, to errands that need taken care of. What do I do with these lists, you ask? Well, that's simple. I change my mind about what is priority. Dinner plans change. I get started house-cleaning and end up destroying rooms and creating projects that weren't even on the chore list. I get tied up talking to the disgruntled checker at the grocer's, and decide I need to bring this poor, troubled soul back a book that will help her solve her relationship issues. The "errand list" gets thrown to the wayside. DISTRACTIONS...And maybe a tad of ADD. But the jury's still out on that one. Either way, when I end up waiting until the last minute to pay a speeding ticket, renew a car tag, complete a huge project for work, or forget to shave my legs the day of a pool party.....the consequences can be quite costly (and somewhat embarrassing). Seriously. Grow up, lady.

I intend to do just that today—GROW UP. For today commemorates the 2nd anniversary of my 29th birthday.(*AHEM!* Just go with me on this one. I am going through the grieving process at the sobering death of my terrific 20's, so please bear with me.) Let all of you respect a few moments of silence for the newest member of the "elderly club". I have officially graduated to a different box on the questionnaire form. The middle-age bracket. Though I am a bit closer to being able to claim "alzheimer's" for my forgetfulness, my ongoing talent for procrastination is something that should finally be dealt with.

After all, I'm turning over a new leaf today. Mainly because “someday” is not a day of the week. It's time to turn my mountains of To-Dos into bucket lists that are absolutely attainable. And I don't want to wait until I'm almost dead to get them accomplished. I want to be able to scratch things off daily. I want to learn to be a better manager of the time on this earth I've been given. I'm realizing just how quickly the time slips right through my fingers. I'm ready to acknowledge that there are a million ways to waste a day, but not even a single way to get one back. When it comes to my future, my kids, my marriage, my life--I don't want to barely make the deadlines with one minute to spare. I want to learn to be wholly present and active in every minute of every day. I want to plan. To be intentional. To be responsible. To live "on purpose"...and not just by the skin of my teeth.

With that said, I have given myself a deadline. It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in.(Earl of Chesterfield) There are some things I've been putting off for some time (this blog, for example) and I want to tackle these things NOW. A short-term "bucket list", if you will. I'm calling it my 7-11 Project. There's a very interesting occurrence coming up; one that history won't see again for another hundred years. In 7 weeks, we will host 11-11-11. Apparently it's a pretty big deal. Who knew?! So to celebrate, I am giving myself a list of 11 things to accomplish before 11-11-11. I decided to post about it here, so that I can't turn into a big, fat loser and throw the plan out the window this time. I'm hoping for a bit of accountability and encouragement. As ridiculous as it sounds, I'll definitely need a few verbal or written "shoves" along the way to help me out and keep me going. I'm relying on YOU. (no pressure, of course. LOL)

Along the way, over the next 7 weeks, I'll be sure to post about my progress. I also promise to blog about my crazy kiddos, some ridiculously random situations I've gotten myself into recently, and of course, my sarcastic two-cents about EVERYTHING I encounter on a daily basis. I hope you will tag along with me through it all. Kick my butt in gear regarding the 7-11 Project, but more importantly, learn how to laugh and enjoy life right along with me. Let's not wait until it's too late. I've already waited til the night before it's due to write this blog post! (oops!) The procrastination train stops here. Laziness may pay off right now, but pursuing life on purpose will bring about abundant future rewards. I just know it! Let the journey begin!

7-11 Project Bucket List

1. Do 11 random acts of kindness.
2. Try 11 new recipes.
3. Run at least 11 miles every week.
4. Write 11 blog posts.
5. Do 11 new activities or crafts with the kiddos.
6. Do/visit/eat at/try 11 different places, restaurants,
or things to do.
7. Memorize 11 new scripture verses.
8. Read 11 books.
9. Tackle 11 projects around the house.
10. Sincerely apologize to 11 people who I have hurt
in the past.
11. Learn to be happy with who I am.

Banana Pants BLOG Coming Soon!

First Post--Coming SEPT. 21st!!

After many urgings from family and friends to "write a book already!", I decided to compromise and start a Blog about the overall hilarity that surrounds my everyday life. Much of my musings stem from raising toddler boys who think they are rockstars; a husband who dabbles in music, art, and all things geeky; my procrastinative endevours to write for a living; and the ongoing hilarious situations that I seem to get myself into with little or no effort of my own. I hope you will join me...... If for nothing more than to laugh with me rather than at me. Lord knows I do enough laughing at myself. God's humor, along with my own is what gets me through each day. :-D

Join me next week as we embark on this crazy ride together! (As Sept. 21st also happens to be my birthday, so I expect some slight recognition for my contributions to the world at least on that day. Please and thank you.)

XOXO,

Michelle