Monday, November 7, 2011

Grouchiness and Apologies

I am fully aware that I owe you a 7-11 Project Monday blog post.  However, I woke up in a cranky mood and have been running around like a mad woman with her hair on fire today.  Counseling classes, grocery shopping, and and baby shower planning. . .so pardon my tardiness.  I will be posting it tomorrow instead. In the meantime, here's a little something to tide you over. . .
Mr. Grouchy Pants Gets it From His Mama

You can call me MRS. GROUCHY PANTS today. No. That's an understatement. My throat was tight. My head was foggy. I felt like wearing a name tag this morning that read, "Crabby. Do Not Touch." Maybe the other Mother's Day Out moms would leave me alone and not engage me in the regular "How are ya?!" in their normal sing-songy-I-really-care-about-your-personal-life voices. Ugh.

I sat in bed for a moment and tried to figure out why I was feeling so irritable. But that's kind of pointless, isn't it?

Regardless of whether it's hormones, sleep deprivation, or just a plain-and-simple bad mood, I still have to make it through the day.

Meanwhile, my toddlers are scratching at one another and my husband wants to know if he has any clean socks. Or peroxide. Huh?

That's when I realize I need help, fast. And whenever that happens, I realize I need to go back to the basics. I need to return to the fundamentals of who (and what) I know myself to be. That's when I need to forget this buzzing body and sink into my spirit.

Because I've done it again. I've gotten myself trapped into a buttonhole where all I'm thinking about is what's happening two inches in front of my face. And I'm mistaking that for the real world.

What I need to remember, at times like these, is that my spiritual side--which teems and churns with joy, which represents heaven on earth--is always one choice away.

As a spiritual being, joy is my default emotion. The other feelings, whether anger, jealousy, boredom, sadness, or irritability, are merely ingredients I add by being focused on the buttonhole--that separate little body I sometimes convince myself is all there is.

I can burn off those unpleasant emotions by returning to a focus on love and love alone. Because a single, pure loving response is the way to access the spirit, to pull it into the moment...this moment.

That's when we see that our pains and annoyances are nothing more than reminders that we've chosen to focus on the buttonhole and not the level of consciousness that could have us boogieing with joy every moment of our lives.

So I take the step that will reconnect me with my divine essence. Simply put: I find something lovely or loving to do with myself.

For me, today, that means I get up. I find some socks. I pour some juice for the kids. I think about how grateful I am.. I decide to pray away my "grouchy pants".  Isn't that what I do for my son?  We pray the "dark clouds" away.  It's harder to do when you look outside to the sky and it's the same color as your mood.

But I have so much to be thankful for.  Funny that some days are harder than others to drudge up the "grateful spirit". Sometimes you can only muster up the "I'm thankful that I'm breathing. That's all I got, God."  And then other days, you are stunned by the gifts God gives us every moment of every day.  I'm going to start counting up my blessings, get my grocery list out, make my "Temperment Currently Under Construction" name tag and choose to be grateful for my little bit of heaven on earth.  Yes, even if that's just a venti mocha latte extra whip. With sprinkles. And caramel. Don't forget the caramel. . . . .Smile.


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