Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Just Because. . .
I'm so there.
My kids are reaching the point where they want to know the "How's, Why's, Where's, and Who's" of everything. They need a Reason for almost every idea under the sun. "Why do I have to pick up my toys?. . .What are we going to do after this?. . . .How does (insert any random item) work?. . .Why do I have to do it that way?. . .What would happen if we didn't wear our seat belt/we jumped off a bridge/we swallowed our own tongue/our eyeballs fell out/we got lost in the woods/our house burned down/we ran out of gas/we fell off the world?. . ." I'm exhausted. And tired of hearing myself explain things. I have naturally curious children who are intent on finding out how the whole entire world works and I should be thankful that they are so inquisitive and harbor such a love for learning. But I'm tired. I am not God. I do not have all the answers. I have reached the end of my rope and am starting to default to the "Because I said so" and "That's just the way it is" answers. They aren't buying those.
Right along with the constant questions about the meanings of life and other ponderings that they consistently come up with, I'm also battling for ultimate trust and control. These little monsters will argue with me til the cows come home about every single request or demand that I feed them throughout the day. They are relentless. I roll my eyes in frustration constantly at their unending supply of manipulation tactics. I'm running out of my own. They feel as though everything is a negotiation and I find myself wondering if in my attempt to reason with them, I have lost control somehow. Is anyone else smelling what I'm stepping in here? Do your rugrats do this, or am I just raising the next Johnnie Cochran? I feel sometimes as though I've lost the balance between allowing them to understand and exerting control over their welfare. In short, Because I said so, is not cutting it for them anymore! And I feel as though that's just too dang bad. I'm done. And what Mommy says is a Done Deal! Got it, munchkin?! And so I raise my voice, use my firm vocabulary, and try to lay down the law and what I'm met with is EXTREME opposition. They don't like me anymore, to say the least. Lovely.
I know this is just a phase that we all reach in parenthood. When it's not about teaching them how and why the world works the way it does anymore, and becomes more about Just trust me because I'm the mom and I know what the heck I'm doing here. I'm turning the reasoning and negotiations off. I'm tired of my own voice. The way it is, is the way it is, in Jesus Name, Amen. End of story. Like it or love it, makes me no difference. But you will clean your room or suffer the wrath of a very exhausted mama bear!
Sometimes parenthood is fun. It's a constant learning process for both the child and the parent. It's exciting to be the one that they run to and can find all of life's answers. We can get caught up in being the Source for all of their questions about life and love and the future. But there also comes a time when they have to trust that the simplest answer needs to be the only answer that they need. Because I said so, needs to be the end-all sometimes. There must be a level of respect for the authority and security that we possess in their lives. If you have little monsters like mine, they will fight tooth and nail for reasons beyond the Because I said so, but on those days, when you just can't handle even one more inquiry, one more pondering of their cute, little, persistent heart, join me in reclaiming control. Take back the promise that you made to yourself all those years ago when you swore you wouldn't say all the things that your parents said to you. Trust that they knew what they were doing, what they were talking about. Trust that just like us, they reached their boiling point and had every right, just like we do, to utter those horrid words. . . .
Just Because. . .