Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Mind Bombs

I think I’ve developed an allergic reaction to question marks, thanks to my unbelievably inquisitive children. They have completely beaten me down with all their constant questioning about every freaking little thing under, over and beyond the moon. I’m quite certain that I would completely crumble if ever called to the witness stand in court because my brain comes freakily close to blowing into tiny bits after one too many queries. Here are just a few of the mind bombs my little nuggets have dropped on me lately:

** Mama, would it hurt if you almost shot your toe off?
** Mama, can you grow a penis?
** Mama, why do boogers taste so salty?
** Mama, how far can you jump?
** Mama, what was the very first pet?
** Mama, how fast can you drive?
** Mama, how old is God?
** Mama, what’s the latest you’ve ever slept?
** Mama, how many people have Wi-Fi?
** Mama, how big can you smile?
** Mama, who invented lockers?
** Mama, what’s the biggest poop you’ve ever pooped?
** Mama, what’s farther, Heaven or outer space?
** Mama, how do the chickens get into the eggs?
** Mama, why does the dog eat his barf?

Please leave your answers to any and all of these questions in the "comment section" and I will pass them on to my toddler.  I'm much too tired to dream up some creative responses.
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2 comments:

  1. BabyWiltSeptember 19, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    Those are brilliant "what’s the biggest poop you’ve ever pooped?" being my number one :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mark AllmanSeptember 19, 2012 at 1:10 PM

    My answers for you as if I was you..... delete any if you feel are not "appropriate for your blog"

    ** Mama, would it hurt if you almost shot your toe off?

    Well that would depend on your definition of almost. Almost like a hole in the floor next to your foot or almost like the toe hanging on by skin only. Almost is a big damn word.

    ** Mama, can you grow a penis?

    Sure every time I wear something sexy in front of your dad.

    ** Mama, why do boogers taste so salty?

    This will require a group of taste testers to answer.

    ** Mama, how far can you jump?

    Depends on if anything is in front of me when someone scares me in the dark. Most likely at least next door.

    ** Mama, what was the very first pet?

    We will have to ask Eve about that.

    ** Mama, how fast can you drive?

    Never fast enough.

    ** Mama, how old is God?

    As old as he wants to be

    ** Mama, what’s the latest you’ve ever slept?

    Never mind that all I care about is getting some sleep.

    ** Mama, how many people have Wi-Fi?

    45867 really any number here will do.

    ** Mama, how big can you smile?

    So big that God sees it when you do something nice.

    ** Mama, who invented lockers?

    The same person who invented lockhims.... really it was
    shepherds who never could find their staff the next day.


    ** Mama, what’s the biggest poop you’ve ever pooped?

    next question please

    ** Mama, what’s farther, Heaven or outer space?

    oh Heaven definitely ... outer space stops somewhere right?

    ** Mama, how do the chickens get into the eggs?

    Walmart sells a machine that does that for them there farmers.


    ** Mama, why does the dog eat his barf?

    I think he thinks it taste better than yours!

    ReplyDelete

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