Tuesday, December 11, 2012

A Day in the Life of a Suburban House Mess

I've been told I'm a "mess". In way more than one sense of the word. I tend to leave my business all about.

My husband will tell you that I tend to leave it ALL in his car (in which I borrow on a daily basis). I will tell you that he doesn't know what he's talking about.

I would say that I'm you're typical suburban housewife, but with a slightly altered calling. I'm not about sitting around, watching The Young and the Restless while my kids do felt crafts and dinner simmers in the crock pot. I'm busy with the business of making life FUN for my kids and getting every last bit of it down on paper to remember for future generations to come. Writing, photography, honest thoughts, and raw life experiences are my thang. So I LIVE for quirky little blog posts like the one I'm bringing to you today. It shys away from  the norm of poop-horror-stories-and-God-sized-lessons-I've-learned-through-parenting posts.This one is random, and I know you'll be thrilled. I'm following suit with my fantastic little friend ERIN from Living In Yellow and giving you "A Day in the Life of a Suburban House Mess" for her "Capture That" Link-up party.
What a fun idea! And aren't you just chomping at the bits to get to see each and every moment of my Tuesday?? Well, I've got good news and I've got bad news. You only get to see 19 moments, but I'm sure you'll agree, they're riveting. Shall we begin??
The best part of waking up, is Folgers in your cup. (Let's be honest, you sang that sentence.)
Apparently my youngest doesn't wake well to the paparazzi. I'm thinking that he gets enough attention when I wake him up with my good morning song of bee-bopping rap lyrics. What can I say, a little Pitbull in the morn gets ev'rybody goin'.
We've obviously adjusted well and are now helping mommy come up with some interesting facebook statuses. I think today's should be a replica of our morning convo:
"Mommy, did you smell my toot just a second ago?"  I reply no. 
 "Oh good.  Cause it smelt like baby poop and sprite, I think."  Super news.
Our first errand of the day was to Hobby Lobby (a craft store) to see about getting a replacement Elf on a Shelf. Of course, little man thought we were here to buy a new ornament for the tree, but I had other motives. The dang elf, Elvis had went MIA 4 days ago. My boys were starting to think that Santa must be holding him hostage with lots of toy orders. At least that's the story I confirmed. No such luck finding a replacement this trip. Still sweating this mission of the day. . .
Back home to start laundry. I'm so glad we got that dog crate. I wouldn't know where to put my dirty clothes without it. I'm pretty sure the dog's only been crated a handful of times because we forget that we have a place for her to go underneath the never-ending piles. 
Speaking of the deviless, this is usually what she does as I am doing laundry. Enjoys herself on MY spot on the couch. 
And since you haven't received a cameo yet from yours truly, here ya go. Disgruntled and STILL looking for Elvis. Where did that little bugger GO!
This is a glorious little place and time during my day that I affectionately refer to as "Carpool Hell". Let's face it folks, nothing good ever happens here. 
This is my little Stinker, figuring out the reflections on the glass ornaments. It's the little things in life that bring him joy. Funny faces, saying the word "poop" over and over, and peeing on a tree in the backyard. Life doesn't get any better than that. At least at our house. 
They don't get much cuter than this, friends! It's a good darn thing, cause I just got off the phone with his teacher, who tells me that although he's one of the smartest kids in his class, he also has the filter and big-mouthedness of his mama. The child never shuts up. Thus begins my pleading with God to make my child less like me and more like his introverted father. No luck so far. . .
I have to say, here in Oklahoma, we have some of the best sunsets. The only rival would be the ones we witnessed in San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua last month. But God likes to put on a show every evening over our house. Just marvelous. 
Taking pictures of the dishes instead of doing the dishes seems like a lot more fun. Let's do that. 
I'm so lucky that I get to settle in every evening with these little hotties. They may be loud and messy and have bad bathroom aim, but they steal my heart. (end sappy moment.)
Finally. after an hour game of bedtime Whack-A-Mole, we have achieved success!
Yes, I have no life, folks. This is what you do when you have no cable, too much caffeine, and your husband won't turn off the XBOX Live. . .
Case in point. 
The poor dear. I made her come inside out of the cold where she was having a field day digging holes and chasing a very persistent backyard mole. She wasn't too happy about me declaring bedtime. 
It's pulling teeth to get EVERY male in my house into bed at night. I finally persuaded this dude with promises of cuddling and threats of Elf on the Shelf duties. . .
By the way, replacement FOUND and I finally remembered AFTER going to bed that he had not gotten into any mischief lately, so he'd better get busy. The kids would find him tomorrow playing Candyland with Sock Monkey. They're both big, fat, hairy cheaters, I tell ya. 

And there you have it.... My day in photos. Aren't you glad that you'd always wondered what I did (or didn't do) all day?! I'm sure your lives are all changed for the better now that you know. I expect a post like this from YOU now. I showed you mine, now you must show me yours. That's how this works. Run on over to Living in Yellow and show Erin some mad love and link-up for some great fun and new friends! 

Happy Hump Day, Amigas!


  1. Lol - I absolutely love this idea!!! I was just looking around my house today thinking I should totally post what a day in the life of a Mama and a house with two toddlers and a Daddy away on business looks like in the midst of Christmas lead-up craziness.. Not a pretty sight but I'm sure it would give everyone a laugh!!! Lets see if I can get up the courage (or the time) to post it tomorrow!! ;)

    1. Do it Aanika!! I would love to see more looks into the lives of housewives like myself. There's something pure about the mundane and simple. Really helps you get to know someone.

  2. Is that a challenge? I accept! That would be fun. I may have to clean my house... maybe not. :-D

    Are we related? Or maybe our husbands are? I have the introverted husband who plays xbox (or sims 3) all the time. Of course mine wouldn't be photographed with me, especially at that time of night. And we have no cable. And no life. Your day plays like a pretty similar version of mine, except that mine has way more glitter, at least I think it does. There is at least one pretty defined layer of red and green glitter all over every surface in our living room. Girls and their sparkly Christmas crafts!

    I'd check over at "Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva" about the elf disappearance. She may be able to shed some light on the subject, having had an elf napping recently. I wonder if maybe there is a hit out on the elves? Like an elf hitman...

    1. We also have no cable and no life, Sarah. But you are correct about the "no glitter". (yet I am hopeful to have a little girl to spoil and glitter-ize someday!) Accept the challenge, I want to see a day in the life of YOU too! I'll be looking for it!

  3. I was thrilled. I did enjoy this post. I used to make my kids treasure hunts when they were young. I d leave clues all over with one leading to the next clue. They always loved doing this. Sometimes with hints.

  4. OHMYGOSH! This looks like so much fun, although I may have to do it on the weekend so you guys don't see my boring work duties for 9 hours of the day! LOL <3 Mom's World (Darla)

    1. Yes!! Do it! I'm finishing up my Christmas Wish post now! eeeee!