This Is Real Life: For The Day After Mother's Day

Husbands are sleeping in today after the exhaustion of doing dishes and taking care of the kids all day yesterday so that their wives could have a bit of a break. The kids have already forgotten the sweet cards and hearty promises to be "soooo good on Mommy's special day" and are back to fighting over Legos at 7:30 a.m. and demanding cereal before Mommy's eyes are even fully open. The honeymoon is over and it's back to reality. Back to our daily lives of cleaning up spills, wiping bottoms, and washing floors. It never does end. But yesterday. . .yesterday was nice, wasn't it?!

If you are anything like me, I enjoyed a fantastic day of little responsibilities. The kids created homemade cards and gave me time to myself to write blogs and watch marathons on Netflix. Even after dinner, the hubs washed the dishes and layed down with the little monsters at bedtime. He was pretty darn great, I must say. But I also must say that he's pretty darn great and the littles are pretty darn sweet MOST DAYS. The "work of moms" are exhausting and sacrificial and repetitious and sometimes without gratitude, but even if we didn't get a day off once a year, we would still trudge along, doing what we do for our families. The same goes for dads, who once a year get really noticed for how hard they work to provide for the family. The day after Father's Day, they will go out there and do what they always do because it's also a privilege and not just a job.

For the day after Mother's Day, I want to take a few minutes to remind myself why I do what I do everyday. I want to remember why I yearned to be a mother even before I was one. When my belly was growing and I felt little kicks inside and I realized that the day was coming soon. . .why was this experience one that I couldn't live without? Because I think so many of us (myself included) wish that yesterday could have been longer! We wish we could leave all the responsibility parts to someone else. To not make breakfast before my eyelids were awake, and calm a tantruming child before sunrise because his toy wasn't operating correctly. To sleep in and wake up to a clean house and clean children and a cleared schedule seems like an amazing situation, but in all honesty, there's a certain pride that I would lack if I didn't feel like I was "doing it all". At the end of my normal days of mothering, I lay in bed and smile that it's over, but that I did it. God gave me enough stamina and strength and patience to keep everyone alive and healthy and well for one more day. And tomorrow, I get to do it all over again.

As we go back to our busy lives today, mamas, remember why you answered this call. This amazing call to make daily sacrifices for the good of your family. To make the decision to get up when you still want sleep. To prepare macaroni and cheese when you would prefer steak and potatoes. To curl up on the couch with Toy Story when dancing the night away seems a bit more appealing some nights. Because the moments of gratitude and pride that come when we watch our littles do something for themselves for the first time cannot be matched. When they look up at us with those big eyes and declare that MOMMY is their very best friend are moments that last a lifetime. When they would rather be in our arms or on our laps or curled up beside us than out with their friends. These moments will not last long. Before we know it they will be out in the real world and our work here will be done. We must remember, mamas how precious our time really is. It's worth the long, hard days of mothering. Nothing could possibly be more fulfilling than knowing that you did your best with these little humans. That this family is growing with the work you put into it. As I pray for patience and endurance for myself, I will pray a little your way too. This is such a challenging privilege, this chaos of mothering. May you held together by little smiles and "I love you's" throughout your days. :)

Homeschooling for Dummies: What One Day Taught Me

I'm pretty sure the process of homeschooling is just that. . .a learning process for both the child and the adult. It certainly is never a decision that is made lightly and one that needs to come with a lot of thought and research. When my husband and I decided to give it a try, we had been praying and thinking over it for quite a while. It made sense, as we are raising our two boys abroad in Nicaragua and are on a "missionary budget", if you will. They were currently enrolled in a private international school here and the school days were extremely long (8 hours, from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.) leaving not a lot of time for family and one-on-one attention from us. It was/is a fantastic school, one that encourages learning through play, cultural diversity, and extracurricular activities. We are not against public and private schools. But both of our kids, though learning a LOT, were still not learning the native language and were lacking attention from us. They needed US more. Not to mention that private schools, even in third-world countries are quite expensive. Financially speaking, it made sense for us to try this new approach to our kid's education. I would encourage all parents to think VERY thoroughly before making academic decisions for your kids. You can never have enough information and not all popular ways are right for your own family. We all have very diverse needs.

We decided to wean onto homeschooling, since I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what I'm doing. I did not go to college myself, yet always desired to be a teacher. The idea of homeschooling my boys seems like one I will personally enjoy, but I know that there are pros and cons to all situations. We decided to keep the boys in their international school for two days a week and have them home for three to see how they would do on a trial run. Would they like the schedule that I established? Would we have enough time (or too much) for all the things that I would want to cover in a day? How would they respond to my instruction in a teachers capacity? Will I have enough patience for this? These are all questions that ran through my mind the entire first day of homeschooling. And I have to say, I realized one very important thing. Not all homeschooling experiences look the same. There are also many kinks to work out. That first day, I did my best to prepare a lesson plan and schedule and took notes throughout the entire day as I saw things that did/did not work. For example, we did PE Exercises first thing in the morning because my initial opinion is that the kiddos would need something to wake them up and get them moving and thinking before we sat down to do computer work. After further review, I've decided that after an hour of computer work (Reading, English, and Math), my son needed a "movement break". It was after sitting that he needed some physical stimulation and that would be a better time to do our PE Exercise time. We adjusted the schedule for Day 2. I kept a notebook of all of the little things that I noticed all day long and I will use those notes to re-evaluate my lesson plans going forward. After day 2 and 3, I'm realizing we will continue to have more notes and things to change, and that's okay. I think the problem lies in seeing how one family/blog/curriculum tells you to do it, and not understanding that those insights are just a springboard into finding out what works for your family specifically. Homeschooling seems to be a learn-as-we-go process.

Here is our Day One Experience:

I have two boys who are very different playing fields when it comes to where they are academically. My seven-year-old is right on-course if not ahead of most kids his age in Math and Reading. My four-year-old is still learning all of his letters and their sounds. Splitting up the day to accomplish the needs of each was a challenge, but we did the best we could. Both are also very technologically savvy so we knew we wanted an online curriculum and "game times" to be a part of their homeschool routine. We got started at 9 a.m. and did PE Exercise time. (Again, I do not think this was the right time of day to do this and will push it back to mid-morning in the future.) After that, we all did Spanish together. They both responded well to doing this early. The day continued with me breaking the two of them up. One would do puzzles and mazes and games on the kindle, while I worked with the other on online curriculum. Then after 45 minutes, we would switch. Then we met back up to do coloring worksheets catered to their age together at the table. After lunch, we did more interactive games. ABC matching games for the little one, and card games with the older. We wanted to get to and Art History lesson and a Science activity, but we were already burned out and needed outside playtime again. We went to the beach to collect rocks and to swim for a bit instead. And I realized then that it's important that I give them ample time to be active. A lot of sitting in front of a computer or doing worksheets and even interactive activities will not compensate for their need at this age to MOVE. Maybe we can find other parents who are homeschooling in the area and get together for activities with them throughout the week.

Overall, what I learned on Day 1 of homeschooling:
*The schedule you begin with will never be exactly the schedule that you end with. You may need to adjust the curriculum and routine to suit your children.

*Taking notes on how to improve is always helpful. Always be evaluating how you can make this experience better for your kids.

*Comparisons are not allowed. Seeing how this mom or that mom accomplishes this job of homeschooling and may seem to do it better than you, will only stunt your growth. You are learning right along with your child and with practice and an open mind, your Day 2 will be better than your Day 1.

*Your enthusiasm for learning the materials makes a world of difference in how the information you are teaching will be received by your child.

*PLAY is just as important as academics. Developing a love of learning early is important. Make every effort to make all the material FUN for your child.

*We are all doing the best we can.

One whole week of homeschooling is now under our belts and we are still very enthusiastic about it all. The boys think it's exciting to do their schoolwork in the pjs and so do I. We are learning a lot already and cannot wait for week two. :)

Learning With BananaGrams

My four-year-old is still getting the hang of his letters. We are practicing with tracing and writing them, and even seeing how many we can find on signs as we drive down the road. He's loving "alphabet activities" lately. During homeschool this week, we decided to build an Alphabet Match-up Game with BananaGrams. Just write the letters of the alphabet on a small card or piece of paper, and let your little get to digging out random letters and matching them up on the paper. This actually kept him busy for about 30 minutes, as he got done with it, dumped it out, and wanted to do it again. Fun little activity that could also be done using the letters from a scrabble game. Or heck, use construction paper and make your own little letters! Anything we can do to help our kiddos learn their letters by sight!

Redeeming The Time: TAKE A TOUR

Wherever you are, no matter how long you have lived in a location, there are always things that you've never done. We've lived in Nicaragua for one full year this month and have yet to see most of it. This week, we were honored to house/dog sit for some friends of ours who were going out of town on vacation. They live an hour away in the colonial city of Granada. We loaded up our stuff and set out to spend a relaxing weekend around their awesome pool. It was a fantastic "stay-cation" for us, as most of the weekend we just stayed at the house, cooking all meals and swimming a ton. We realized, however, that we had been to Granada numerous times and had never seen "the sights". We decided to "take a tour" as a family on Saturday and do something that we had never done. We spent the morning touring the isletas (tiny islands) off the coast of Lake Nicaragua. Many have historical sights on them, mansions, restaurants, as well as monkeys! We took a long speedboat out on a 3-hour ride through the island coves, pointing out birds and fish and other wildlife. It was such a great thing to do some exploration as a family.

It hit me that as families in general, we do not do this enough. It doesn't matter our geography, there is always room for exploration. Whether it's a random walk around the lake, a hike up a hill, a boat ride, or exploring a historical site in your area, we MUST find time to see and experience new things as a family unit. Times like these create memories for our little ones and encourage the idea of pursuing new things. We want our children to grow up with a desire for adventure. We need to show them that adventure awaits around every corner! Take a tour today! Look online for things in your area that you can explore and experience for the very first time. And when you've found it, share in the excitement and enthusiasm of making a memory with your kids. Hold hands, laugh, and share in a first together. These are the moments that matter!

Raising Kids Abroad: WHEN ROOTS ARE EXPOSED

We received some really sound advice prior to our move to Nicaragua. A few other couples invested quality time in us beforehand to prepare us, as much as possible, to be a family who functioned efficiently though we were about to be uprooted. When all that is familiar is lost suddenly, it can be difficult to transition. Even more so for kids. This was not something I thought of in advance and I'm so glad someone took the time to pour into us about what those first months would be like for our children. When roots are exposed, a family must learn how cope temporarily until what can now feel like chaos and insecurity can begin to feel like a "new normal". Let me share some nuggets that made this transition flow more smoothly for us.

ALL THAT IS FAMILIAR SHOULD NOT BE LOST
We spent the better part of our preparation months getting rid of TONS of stuff. This seems to be the norm among families creating this change in their lives. We had MAJOR garage sales and for three weeks straight, our kids witnessed objects of stability and security slowly mosey out the door with random people. Hot wheels now belonged to a friend of theirs, their swing set went to live with cousins, their bunkbeds were replanted at grandma's house, and most of their toys that they had spent their entire 7-year lifespan accumulating were being sold off to random strangers. I could sense that they felt the bottom was falling out of their little world. Those things were their things. Now, they were gone. Rooms became bare and all that they held so dear was being packed up into 13 total suitcases. This is scary for grown-ups. Kids that associate material possessions as security have a really hard time with this process. One of our friends told us that we needed to keep certain things that would be remembrances of "home". Aside from the blankets that we were bringing already, we decided to keep a large star nightlight that we plug into whatever room they are sleeping in. This has been something that provides security. We have moved to three different homes in Nicaragua within our first year and their star burns bright in all three. Wherever they are, there it is also. We even brought it with us when we returned back to the States for a visit and kept it lighting up their room at Grandma's. It's something they can count on and even these little things have made a huge difference.

SIGNPOSTS
This is an idea that I credit to our missions pastors at church. They lived for 4 years in Cambodia with small children like ours and had so many helpful suggestions for making this transition as a family go smoother. One of my favorites was their idea of creating "signposts" throughout your day for your children. In any move abroad, whatever routine that kids held dear back home has been thrown to the wayside. Each day in a new country is a growing and learning experience. The new language and culture and food and way of life forces one into living more adaptively. This is especially hard for kids who have always associated daily occurrences with security. For example, back in Oklahoma, every time we got into the car to go to school or the park or to the store, I would put on the ipod of songs that the boys loved. Car rides meant fun, sing-along time with mom. It's something they looked forward to on a daily basis and counted on. When we moved to Nicaragua, we didn't have a vehicle. We still do not. We hail taxis and grab rides with friends or walk anytime we need to get anywhere so those moments of family sing-alongs in the car are distant memory. In exchange for all the "moments" that were normal in the life we led before, we have tried desperately to created new "signposts". Moments that are routine throughout our day that the boys can hold onto and know that they are a "constant" in their new lives. One is morning bible study during breakfast. Once we all wake up and get our cereal and fruit and coffee, the boys and I sit around the table and read a chapter story out of the Jesus Storybook Bible. They look at pictures and ask questions and we spend those few moments every morning creating a repetitious moment that they can count on. Other "signposts" throughout the day could be 15-minutes of "face time" right after school. A moment every single day that they know that you ask questions and are interested in what's happening in their day. Or maybe a "highs and lows" game at dinner time when everyone goes around the table and talks about their high of the day and low of the day and discusses them as a family. Another one that we've tried to stick with is bedtime stories. Each child picks a book and we sit on the bed, read each book and talk about the story right before we say goodnight. I think the best signposts are just moments that you can consistently create on a daily basis no matter where you find yourself. They are not tied to geography and can happen anywhere. Our friends encouraged us to a a few of these each day so that when our days get away from us in a foreign country and we are on-the-go and shoving the kids in and out of taxis and restaurants and constantly meeting new faces and places and all is turned upside down in their little worlds, they have moments throughout the day where they can regroup and feel some form of stability. Living abroad can be difficult for anyone and people of all ages can benefit from the idea of "signposting".

GETAWAYS ARE STILL A MUST
It seems silly sometimes to think that once you are living abroad in a new country, that you may still need a vacation. We are surrounded by palm trees and live a short drive from the beach. Our kids build sandcastles daily and are constantly in the water. We live in a perpetual state of summer here in Nicaragua. People back home look at our lifestyle and see "fun-in-the-sun" with some mission work opportunities in the mix. One would assume, Why would you need a vacation?! You LIVE on vacation!" While this observation is correct to a certain extent; we live in paradise compared to where we lived before, it's not exactly the full picture. When you move abroad, as opposed to when you "vacation" abroad, your perspective has changed. This new place is a whole new life, not just an "experience". You are finding your new grocery stores and gas stations, your kids are settling into school, you are learning to eat new foods and find out where you can buy necessities and cleaning supplies and pay speeding tickets. You are setting up a new life and all that comes with that. Geography and scenery after awhile, become secondary. You and your family must learn to function in this new paradise. You make friends and hold play dates and help with homework and most of the time still work a job of some sort (my husband does graphic design work online). No matter where your new home is, it's important to get away every once in awhile as a family, even if only for a long weekend to refresh and recollect yourself. For us, it's been going home to the States every 6 months for a visit. We've needed that time to reconnect with family and indulge in conveniences that we've missed. As well, we just recently were able to travel to another part of Nicaragua to house sit for some friends and had a mini-vacation away from our small coastal town. This time was perfect for us to reconnect with each other, spend ample quality time with the kids, and just relax without the normal daily responsibilities of school, work, and mission work. "Stay-cations" are also beneficial for the family. We've had many days that we have stayed at home and just relaxed and napped and removed ourselves from the bustle of this new life abroad. I think it's especially important for the kids to have this time away. No matter where you are living, sometimes you just need a break. Even more so when you are extra exhausted from learning a second language and striving to find your place in a new culture. Remember to step away every so often to rest.

THEY MAY NEED CONTROL OF THE SMALL THINGS
Kids are flexible. For the most part, they are way more adaptable to new surroundings than adults are. But we, as parents have had time to emotionally prepare. These months leading up to the move, we have read books and blogs, adjusted budgets and made special provisions for our new life abroad. To children, one day they are going about their normal lives, and one day all that is "home" is gone. We can try to talk to them about it and prepare them for what will happen when we relocate, but the truth is, kids lack a sense of timing and mental preparation. Anything that happens to them, happens suddenly. When their roots are exposed and they cannot find a semblance of normal for while, they tend to feel completely and utterly out of control of their little lives. We, as adults still get to decide where we live and find a new home, decide on what we will have for dinner that night, what sights we will see that day, who we will befriend and how we will function day-to-day. WE have chosen this lifestyle, not our children. They benefit greatly from being able to come to a new place, have exposure to new language and culture and diverse new friendships. And they will grow and have the time of their lives in the process. But it doesn't alleviate the fact that they are hopelessly out of control and may try to compensate in ways that will make the transition harder on everyone else involved. We noticed a lot of tantrums the first few weeks. They wanted things that were always readily available to them and because we were still blindly searching our way around a new place, we asked for their patience way more than they were accustomed. Meltdown city, over here in Nica. Crying and whining and complaining about the smallest things filled our first couple of weeks. Then came the boycotting of foods. To this day, food is our biggest cause for concern in living abroad. Our kids have control of little else, but what they can control is what they put in their mouths. Sometimes, I feel as though they will exert their stubborn will of not eating THAT simply because they have had no control over anything else that day. It's the one thing they can say NO to. As well, we were met with digression from the potty-training accomplishment we had made earlier in the year. We moved with a three-year-old who was completely potty-trained and the minute we stepped foot in Nicaragua, it became a battle again. Accidents and refusal to go to the bathroom. Grasping for control whenever possible. I've spoken to many moms abroad and this is something that is found to happen a lot. Eventually kids settle into the new lifestyle and can release the clenched fist of control once they feel safe and secure again, but don't be surprised if their behavior and attitude change drastically for a time during this transition. As you are all growing and allowing this new lifestyle to change you as a family, it may take the children a bit longer. Patience and understanding that they need to feel in control of some things is important. Letting our kids have some leeway and more choices along the way has helped.

Though the transition of moving abroad with kids can be a difficult one, I'm finding the perspective and growth it provides for a family is far worth it. I think it's all about having realistic expectations about how it will affect everyone and reacting accordingly. Immersing ourselves in this new culture and language and lifestyle has grown us closer together. We have learned to understand and relate to each other better. It's created a healthy dependence on the family unit that we were lacking in the States. Because we "uprooted" together, we have had an opportunity to be more vulnerable together and adopt a perspective on life that sees things differently. The world is HUGE and people are DIVERSE and memories are EVERYTHING. These are just a few of the lessons a family can learn while raising kids abroad. I pray your journey abroad is just as eye-opening as ours has been thus far.

This Is REAL Life: CAN I BE DEPUTIZED??

This is a photo of a mom trying to stay sane while her kids are trying to kill each other in the backgroud.

And so is my life.

If moms (and dads, for that matter) were paid to referee like those who work for the NBA or NFL, then I would understand the constant tattling, tantruming, demanding, screaming, withholding, and general roughhousing that goes along with this game. But this IS NOT the play-offs and I do not get a whistle and I am not paid NEARLY what I'm worth to settle disputes all day.

Especially when they are ridiculous.

I have two boys, two years apart. I probably could stop there and parents everywhere would nod their heads in acknowledgment at the unbelievable task of refereeing that I must do daily. It's never ending. Truly. If one is not "touching" the other annoyingly, or "looking" at the other weirdly, or calling names, or tattling, or not playing fair, or not sharing, or acting like a "meanie", then I would have a very boring day. How I lovingly covet "boring" days.

I'm tired of being the sheriff. (Where is my badge, by the way?)

A few days ago, I am in the middle of 5 million things (as usual) including sweeping sand out of my kitchen that the kids and the dogs tracked in, wiping down the countertops where someone had just spilt jello, trying to find a hair thing to put my hair up because it's 5 million degrees in Nicaragua currently, and stirring a pot on the stove of chicken noodle soup. All of the sudden, shouts are heard in the living room, and then. . .the crash. Followed by huge sobs. Awesome.

I run in there to find all the crayons spilt all over the floor and my littlest in a heap, crying and screaming something intangible. My oldest, hands on his hips starts in about how he "is the red dog and how brother cannot be the red dog because he's already said first that he's the red dog and two people cannot possibly be the red dog". SIGH. My youngest screams that he said first that he's the red dog and he's "not going to be any other color of dog and he's not going to be his brother's dog-friend if he cannot be the red dog". DOUBLE SIGH.

I mean, really.

I can understand refereeing when it's necessary. When there are legitimate kid fights over toys or turns or tattling. I get it. I really do. I understand that we are still learning what is right and wrong and fair and not fair. That things get a bit gray and cloudy on the "you-move-you-lose" rule or someone maliciously steals a toy. I can rush in and slam down the iron gavel and rule in favor of one or the other, depending on the plaintiff's proper gripe or defendant's understandable excuse. I'm generally good and fixing these things. Turning tantrums into learning experiences and getting all involved back to laughing and smiling terms until the next legitimate argument.

But now we are fighting over imaginary things?!

I would really love to hear what Judge Judy would have to say about who in this house should have the right to be the red dog. I'm completely at a loss.

I scooped up my youngest and told him that he could just be the red unicorn instead. That seemed to do the trick, until his brother decided that the red dog wasn't cool anymore and he wanted to be the red unicorn too. I did what any good mom would do and grounded them from being any imaginary things for the rest of the day. I couldn't take it anymore.

I'm really hoping that this is a phase. Everything else has been. The constant crying at bedtime--phase. The screaming when you leave them at daycare--phase. The wetting the bed--phase. The insistence on having/being/wanting everything that the sibling has/is/wants--TELL ME IT'S A PHASE! I cannot have anymore fights over imaginary animals in my house. I cannot handle the constant bickering. I have not been deputized and I am not paid NEARLY enough for this.

Commiserate with me. . .is anyone else having this problemo? Do your kids fight over everything? Tell me when they outgrow this (because I vaguely remember still fighting with my sister over whose turn it was to use the hot rollers when we were in our teens) and the thought of ten more years of this makes me want to take out a craigslist add to sell them both. (Although, they would probably just argue about who is worth more so loudly and so often that no one would agree to the sell.)  Mad props to the parents like myself who are in the trenches, handling imaginary problems as we speak. We need to stick together. What is the craziest things that your littles have fought over?

90-Day Homeschool Experiment

Everyone knows I love a good social experiment. For other times I've embarked upon crazy new fasts or adventures, look into these posts-- 7 Weeks To A More Simplified Life.   .

Ever since we've moved abroad as a family, education has been at the forefront of our priorities. There are so many different options out there, but homeschooling was always something we shyed away from. Mainly from lack of knowledge about it and the mere fact that I didn't feel qualified to teach my own children. It's such a amazing responsibility, I didn't want to screw it up.

We were blessed to settle into an area in Nicaragua with a well-known international school. The boys have thrived there at San Juan Del Sur day school. A hands-on learning approach and diverse teacher and student-body have helped our transition into this new culture in wonderful ways. The boys adore the school. But we started noticing some emotional and social issues that needed addressing. Though the boys were growing academically, they needed more of US. Going to school from eight in the morning until four in the afternoon left them screaming for our attention in the evenings and extremely exhausted. They are long days for a seven-and-four-year-old, and we noticed them fighting (more than normal) for quality time with us. Visiting with some homeschooling families and observing their relationships with their children left me feeling a bit jealous. Their children seemed calmer, not nearly as needy as mine, and way more spiritually fed than mine. I am well aware that comparison is the thief of joy, and all families are different, but with these observations, another family close to us choosing the homeschooling option, and the fact that my children began asking why they couldn't have mommy teach them, I started really considering this journey.

So here we are, making a change and committing to a 90-Day Homeshcool Trial Period. For other parents like myself who have thought seriously about homeschooling, worldschooling, unschooling, etc, but have not yet made the leap, let me jump off the ledge for you while you watch and take notes. I thought it best to record the process here and all that our family learns in this lifestyle change. It will be a transition and a learn-as-we-go adventure. Let me preface by saying that I know I have not done ample research and I may fall flat on my face a time or two in this whole endeavour. I'm no teacher and I'm praying WAY in advance that God will grant me wisdom, patience, and sanity through what will inevitably be a time of growing pains for me as a mom. But amidst the anxieties that I have, I am extremely optimistic and excited about seeing how this new lifestyle could actually enhance our home life and bring us a lot closer to our kids. This is something that we feel led to do.  We are quite sure that it will be hard, but we are excited to see some positive results in these 90-days.

Here's the thing. . .we could hate it. It could be impossible and chaotic and hopeless and just really not work for our family. OR it could be the best thing that has ever happened to our family. We shall see. We are committing to 90 days before making a lasting decision. We hope you will follow along! We'd love some feedback and advice from all of you homeschool superstars who have been doing this successfully for years! We'd also love to hear from those who are skeptical about homeschooling and why. It all helps us in researching and helping us find our family's niche in the topic of education. All comments are needed and welcome!

Here's the plan:
*I have found some amazing, FREE online resources and plan to utilize those as often as possible.
*We will attempt to "school" at least 4 hours a day, with room throughout the day for play and rest.
*We will be focusing heavily on learning Spanish as a family with formal lessons at least three times a week.
*We've met some other sweet families who are also homeschooling and we will be getting together to do crafts, activities, games, and field trips at least once a week.
*I will be posting updates about this homeschooling journey; the highs and lows and all in-between on Fridays. For anyone else who has wondered if this option is right for them, we hope to shed some light on the reality of starting the process of homeschooling and all the things our family learns from it in these first 90-days.
*We will be doing unit studies in 30-day increments, with the first being The Planets and Solar System. The second month, we will study The Weather. The third month, we will study Systems of the Human Body.
*Everyday, we will have focused time on Reading, Math, English, Bible Study, Science, and Art. All of these subjects will be taught with our unit study in mind.
*Because schools are year-round in Nicaragua, we will be beginning this trial period starting this coming Monday. May, June, and July will be the months of experiment and a long-term decision made for August.

So, how many others are homeschooling? What are your thoughts and advice?? Please follow along as we jump head-first into the exciting adventure of educating our own kids!

KEEP YOUR PANTS ON!! (A Throw-Back Thursday Post)

How I love Throw-Back Thursdays!! The following is a post from 2 years ago, when I was embarking upon the magical world of potty-training. Since I have so many friends with little ones, I thought I would throw it out there for one more good laugh. Enjoy!! :)

I don't know about you, but from the moment the potty-train left the station, it has been nothing but bare butts and one-eyed snake sightings around here! I made the huge mistake of letting my mother have the boys for the weekend only to get them back with an amazing new talent! Or so they think!  Apparently they find nothing more exciting than to drop trou and pee a river in the backyard.  Thank you, Mother. When my oldest was potty-training, he obviously didn't get the memo that this activity was okay for the backyard but not for the front yard. We are unpacking the SUV of groceries one afternoon only to turn around and find Mr. Grouch, pants around his ankles on the front porch, peeing onto the sidewalk. Oh, but it gets better.  I notice he has mastered the one-handed maneuver and is using the other hand to wave persistently at my next door neighbors who had stepped out to grab the mail.  Needless to say, I was mortified! We had a looooooooong talk about how it is inappropriate for ANYONE to see our "winkie". Thus proceeded the questions about this person and that person and whether they are allowed to see his business.  "What about Grandma? She's seen my pee pee. . ."  "Yes, honey, it's okay if they see it if they are taking you to the potty."  What about so-and-so, and what about the person at the bathroom at the zoo, and what about the dog in the neighbors yard.  I had to shut this outside bathroom business down, and quick!

In between Mr. Grouch and Mr. Stink's potty-training segments, the "Backyard Bathroom" remained closed. I thought we were finally past the excitement of it all. Now that Stinker's potty-training adventure is in full-force, we do what any respectable (stupid) American family does and jump into the magical world of raising a puppy. Wonderful timing on my part. And I thought my potty-training days were behind me!  Ms. Pepper Potts (yes, we named our puppy after IronMan's girlfriend) is 7 months old and was rescued from the pound. Like most pound puppies, she learned to go just about anywhere she wanted. As she has made the transition into our home, I thought taking her out every hour would be a breeze.  Out she goes while I wait inside until she's finished. Apparently this was not the case.  She insists on having an audience to her "potty party".  I have to go outside and coax her through the ordeal almost every time. This would be a lot easier if I didn't have toddlers waiting at the back door, wondering why in the world Mommy is insisting that Pepper pee in the grass???!!!  We thought this was forbidden!?!?  I could just see the wheels turning in their little brains. 

One day last week, I look out into the backyard where I have let Mr. Stinker and Pepper out to play. One minute they are running around chasing sticks, the next. . .HORROR.  I look out the back door and find Pepper doing her business (#2 to be specific) in the far corner of the yard.  Right next to her I see Stinker, squatted over, knees bent, in a moment of physical intensity as he does his poo business next to his new friend. I. Give. Up.

Of course, there's worse things that my boys could be doing.  So they like "Backyard Bathroom" time.  So I had to pooper-scooper more than dog doo that afternoon. I compromised with my little monsters and relented to letting them go #1 in the backyard only as long as there was no one else around.  They agreed that the grass and leaves make horrible TP so agreed to keep #2 in the house, where it can be properly flushed.  Seems to be a Win/Win resolution.  The things we go through in this motherhood adventure!  I can't wait to see what could possibly be next!

Redeeming The Time: ROCK MONSTERS

Have you ever looked lovingly at your little monsters long after they've gone to bed and think, Gosh, I could've done more with them today. . . Now do not get me wrong; there are other nights you gaze at their sleeping little bodies and revel in the silence and thank the Lord that you did not kill them that day. I have had many of those days too. Believe me. But more and more lately, I have realized how fleeting this time is with my littles. That I am only granted 18 years of Saturday mornings and 18 years of quality bedtimes. We have such a small window of time to speak into their lives, to call out their potential, and to dream with them creative dreams for their future. We take so many moments for granted as parents.

In our family, I will go a step further and say that we throw many precious moments out the window over inconvenience and use of technology. We are THAT family who loves our devices and games and facebook friends and family and ample screen time with Phineas and Ferb and all things Marvel. These things are all well and good in moderation, but our family relies on them a bit too much most recently, and it's something that we are willing to rectify at all costs. If time is precious and fleeting, we need to redeem it as often as we can with making memories together and learning life lessons as a family.

Thus, Redeeming the Time has officially commenced in our household. We are taking back moments stolen by less important activities and replacing them with quality time activities. We will spend less time starting at the television (even together!) and more time staring into each others eyes. We will do this by crafts and activities and games and family time. Seizing the day, each day, even if it's only for 15 minutes of uninterrupted, facetime with each child. We will get our hands dirty and be creative and make messes together and build lego towers and run through the sprinkler together and have marathon reading sessions at bedtime. The goal is to redeem time that we've normally spent answering an email or scrolling through twitter while our child stands by and says, "Mommy, Daddy, Watch this!!" without much avail. We will start to unplug more and focus. I read an amazing blog about living "hands free" with your children and a profound statement floored me. "There are only 940 Saturdays between a child's birth and their leaving for college. How many have you already used up?" Wow. My first thought was that my oldest is 7 years old. I've already used up 364 Saturdays. I have 576 weeks left to seize this time with my little man and make them count.

The following weekly Wednesday series will spotlight activities and games and crafts that have helped me redeem this time with my little monsters. They aren't profound or new ideas, just things that we are doing together.  In these moments, they do not have to share me with the rest of the world. They will have my undivided attention and we will hopefully learn and grow and above all else, have fun together. When the 940 Saturdays expire, I want them to look back on the moments throughout life that we really pulled in together and cherish those times above all else. What about you? Do you need to practice Redeeming the Time with your children?

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ROCK MONSTERS

This was an activity that we've done twice now, because A) we have a plethora of rocks at our house and B) what kid has too many rock monsters?? We first spent an afternoon on the beach in search of the perfect rocks. We collected 100 total and used this moment to work on our sorting and counting abilities too. Then we grabbed some paint and went after it. The photo here is not anywhere near what ours looked like, though it's what we based our craft on. Let's just say that you won't find a photo of our works of art next to this one with the caption, "Nailed it!" beside it. But we had a blast doing them. The boys talked about their favorite colors and the names of their rocks and where they were going to keep their "new pets". My seven-year-old superhero fanatic, of course, designed his rock monsters with superhero costumes of IronMan, Hulk, and Capt. America. It was a nice time sitting on our tile floor with a paint mess all around us, laughing and enjoying the conversation with each other. We could do this craft once a week and it wouldn't create rocks of art so much as it would create connection. So happy to have had these 30 minutes with them. 

Raising Kids Abroad: WHY NICARAGUA?

So many people ask us regularly why we chose to live abroad with young children. "Why live away from the comforts of the first world?... Why take them away from friends and family?... Aren't you worried about their education?... What about their health and safety?...Why live without modern conveniences (ie. air conditioning, hot water, reliable electricity, etc)?... Why choose a place where they will be a minority?... WHY NICARAGUA??" 

And to all of those people I simply say, "COME and SEE WHY."

It's hard to articulate exactly why we choose this lifestyle. It's just better for us, in so many ways. We don't claim that it's better, in general (or for everyone), but after 11 months in Nicaragua, we know that for our family, it works. Our kids are thriving and learning and really living like never before. They are explorers and inventors and artists and volunteers now. This is all new compared to who they were living in the United States.

I will also say that this decision came with a lot of researching and praying a soul-searching. This wasn't something we decided in a day. . .or a week. . .or even a month. And a HUGE reason that we came to the decision that we did was entirely spiritual. (You Can Read More About That HERE.). We knew after one visit that this was where we were being led, even for a time, to raise our family and begin to teach our children how to "give back". Life is simpler in Nicaragua. Live your life, educate yourself, love others, give whenever and wherever you can, play, eat, enjoy nature, gain perspective, sleep. . .and repeat daily. This has become our new way of life. It's so very different from everything that is comfortable and familiar and the old way of life that we left behind. Yes, occasionally we miss it. These moments are fleeting for us though. Once you COME AND SEE, you will understand why.

Why live away from the comfort of the first-world??
To be perfectly honest, most of the things that we found "comfort" in, weren't exactly good for us. If it's anything that my children miss most about the U.S., it's the food. And more specifically, the fast food. I cannot say that I blame them. We miss hitting the McDonalds after a long hard day and needing to fill up on fattening food to alleviate stress. Who wants to cook all of the time when you don't have to?? We definitely used food for comfort for years. That is one thing that we miss, with no access to fast food in our little coastal town. The closest McDonalds is 2.5 hours away and we have no vehicle. Comfort, GONE. And we've coped just fine. And are healthier for it. The other comforts that we found in EXCESS in all areas are gone as well. Sure it would be way more comfortable to live in a fully-stocked house in the suburbs, a garage full of stuff we never used, and a constant stream of accumulating more, but we've purged our entire lives and feel so much better because of it. We currently live out of suitcases (as closets are a rarity in Nica), and you know what. . .we've managed. Is it always fun to feel out of sorts and unsettled and uncomfortable the majority of the time? Absolutely not. But it does make us feel more alive somehow.

Why take them away from friends and family??
This part of it is the hardest. My entire family still lives back in Oklahoma. I've lived there my entire life. All my friends miss us and we miss them. But then there's the beauty of technology. Because let's face it, with life as chaotic as it is in the States, we didn't see friends and family nearly as often as we thought. There's school and soccer tournaments and vacations and gymnastics/dance/tae kwon do/art classes and church and a little of this and that that keeps us all so busy that we generally saw our friends once a week, if not more likely, once a month. Some of my best friends and I would go 2-3 months if not longer in between meet-ups. Not only that, even our parents (the kids grandparents) work full-time. Most of the time, we saw them in person about once every two weeks. It seems, with Facebook and email and Skype, my kids see and talk to them plenty. In fact, when we return home to the States for a visit, it's like time hasn't passed at all--especially to them.

I also must mention that the new friends that we've made here in Nicaragua have become JUST LIKE FAMILY. Most have moved down, craving a similar way of life. Less working, more investing. There are way more gatherings and play dates and communal dinners than I ever experienced back in the States. It's unheard of and downright IMPOSSIBLE for us to go more than a day or two without meeting up with another family for food and fellowship. Those that have chosen to live abroad tend to understand the concept of "community" better than those still caught in the rat race of the U.S. They need it more, here. We all pull in close together and instantly share a commonality because we've chosen this lifestyle.

Aren't you concerned about their education??
Not at all. I say that with ease. This may be a thought to expand on in a later post, but my boys are THRIVING on an educational level. They attend an international school here in our coastal town with children and teachers from all over the world. The cultural perspective that they are gaining cannot possibly be learned any other way. My "first grader" has learned to read and write in 11 months. Both boys are now swimmers (thanks to the school's swimming lessons!) and they are learning Math and Science and History in the most hand-on way. As well, we supplement with online homeschooling curriculum, so the education that they are receiving is more than adequate. I am confident that they will be right on-track (or ahead) if we ever decide to move back to the States in the future.

What about their health and safety??
This was my first major concern during our first few months living here. Since, we've dealt with scorpion bites, heat rashes, allergic reactions, dengue fever, stomach bugs, parasites, infected mosquito bites, sprained ankles, and a plethora of cuts, bruises, and bumps. We've lived through them all. Healthcare, for the most part, is free in Nicaragua. If we had an emergency, we would rush to the state hospital and get immediate attention. If we needed more in-depth care, we could travel to the capital where hospitals are privatized and more luxurious that in the U.S. All for pennies to the dollar of what we would pay back there. Our expat community has shared a wealth of information on reliable and knowlegable doctors in our area. Every once in awhile, I freak a little about how to relay completely what may happen in an emergency to someone who does not speak English, but I cannot live in fear. Prayer and home remedies play a big part of how we all handle health care here in Nicaragua. (Praise God that He's protected us thus far!)

Why live without modern conveniences (ie. air conditioning, hot water, reliable electricity, etc)?
Good question. And if you catch me on a bad day, I will rant and rave about how much I miss all these things and living here is just plain not worth it. But every other day, it's all about perspective. We moved here, yearning for a simpler life. One in which we wouldn't take for granted the little things that we had taken for granted for so long. For example, running water is something we PRAISE JESUS for on a weekly basis. It's currently been out for three days straight, so taking showers, cooking, washing clothes and dishes is such a pill. But you know what, when it came back on this evening, we were so thankful. Like, BEYOND grateful. Our kids were jumping for joy over water, ya'll. Would they have ever acted that way in the States? Absolutely not. They'd never been without. So we are thankful for the lessons learned by not having the modern conveniences that the rest of the world enjoys. Now, I thoroughly miss my microwave and hot water and air conditioning. Most of the time, I feel as though we are indoor camping. . .for life. But trading some of these modern luxuries in for a home full of fresh air, minutes from the ocean, and a community not centered around staying INSIDE the house rather than outside is totally worth it. All the frustrations melt away when we gaze across our yard over the Nicaraguan countryside and breath in air from open windows and flowing ocean breeze. Life is "convenient" in a totally new way.

Why choose a place where your children will be a minority?
Why not?! We knew the transition may be a difficult one for all involved. New language, new culture, new surroundings. We stick out like a sore thumb with our blonde hair and blue eyes and pale skin. Little old ladies stop the boys on the street to pet their heads or pick them up and fuss over them. "Que lindo!" they say, which means "How handsome/beautiful/adorable!" If this is what being a minority is all about, they are eating the attention up. But a major reason that we moved here was for the diversity. We want them to be exposed to all ethnicities and see first-hand how amazing people are from EVERYWHERE. I personally grew up in a very racist home, and always knew that it was wrong. My dream was to one day have a family with children from all ethnicities. The world is so beautiful, and if we only see it from a perspective of our color, we miss out on so much. Being the minority allows us fresh eyes. We notice even more the assumptions that we make, the stereotypes that are unfair, and the ways that people cater to each other. It's not fair, at home in the States nor here and we can now respond to diversity in a more knowledgeable way, given this experience.

So. . .WHY NICARAGUA??

Because we've fallen in love with this country. It's hard and it's frustrating and it's beautiful and refreshing and it's confusing and lively and exhausting and magical and transforming and we are consumed with living life to the fullest. We could do that anywhere, yes, but we choose to do it here for now. God knows what's in store for our future. Whether Nicaragua is a here and now or a forever, we only know that it's home for today. And we wouldn't have it any other way.

Here's a little video with more reasons to love Nicaragua. Enjoy!
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We cannot wait to talk more about Nicaragua and the joys and woes of "Raising Kids Abroad" here on the blog! Tune in every Tuesday for this new segment!! 

This Is REAL Life: MY KID SWALLOWED A LEGO

HE SURE DID.

Last Thursday, the little dudes were playing with Legos, a daily activity that allows me time to surf Facebook in the middle of the day while also answering "LOOK AT THIS MOM" demands every time they build yet another tower. (Exactly like the last one. And the one before that. And. . .well, you get it.)

We had just finished and had put them all back in the container and I noticed that the littlest dude (Micah, age 4) was chewing on something. After explaining for the 4,356th time why we do not chew on Legos, I thought he put it away and went on to other things. He lay in the floor, singing and commenting on how my oldest played a game on the XBox (another guilty pleasure. It's Spring Break, cut me some technology-slack!).

All of the sudden, I heard choking from the floor. I jumped out of my seat, staring at the little dude, grabbing his neck and turning a funny shade of red. A MILLION thoughts ran through my head, IS HE CHOKING?! WHAT DO I DO?! I DON'T REMEMBER CPR OR THE HEIMLICH!! WHAT IS IN HIS MOUTH?? COME ON, BABY, DON'T YOU DARE DO THIS TO ME!! In the 5 seconds it took me to rush to his side, he stopped flailing and started sobbing instead. My first reaction was, this is a very good sign, right? If he's crying, he can breathe! He jumped up from the floor and started screaming at me, "TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL! I SWALLOWED IT!  I SWALLOWED IT! IT'S INSIDE ME, WE HAVE TO GET IT OUT!!" By this time, I'm just praising God that he is talking and it took me a few seconds to realize that he was having an all-out hypochondriac attack. He swallowed the Lego. He SWALLOWED it. The very Lego I told him to take out of his mouth not 5 minutes ago. I didn't know whether to be mad or relieved or both. Hubby ran in, hearing the crying and immediately started googling "What To Do If Child Swallows Lego". God bless him. I got the dude calmed down with the promise that the Lego would come out eventually. (Fingers crossed?) This was the BEST life lesson in not putting anything in your mouth that's not food. . .EVER. Though I would never wish it on anyone. It literally scared him to death.

Now we have commenced POOP WATCH 2014.

Google (and my sister who is an ER nurse) have promised that these things usually show up in the stool within 7 days. We are almost 3 days in and I've had to poke each and every bathroom scene with a stick from the backyard. NO LEGO. Each and every time, my little dude makes the same observation. "It's still in there, Mom. And I think it's never comin' out." Heaven help us. We're buying stock in prunes while we wait this thing out.

Bloggers and fellow parents assure me that this is something that many have had to deal with. Legos, really?! One mom said that her child swallowed an open safety pin! A SAFETY PIN, PEOPLE! This makes me feel like comparatively, I can remove my name from World's Worst Parent List, at least for today. What do you think? Have your littles swallowed things and what was the outcome?? Commiserate with me for a bit, won't you?

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Every MONDAY, we will be sharing a new entry for our weekly "This Is REAL Life" segment. A sarcastic and chaotic and transparent look at parenting through our real-life experiences. And since my parenting is a walking disaster scene most days, the material will be aplenty! Join us every Monday as we learn to laugh and appreciate the circus that is daily life as a parent of young kiddos. Enjoy!