Simplifying Life: FOOD 2.0

First and foremost, I have to say that this week has made me realize what a BRAT I truly am. You would think something as small as a simple fast wouldn't have such a dramatic effect. After all, it's not like I've given up food all together! I've just set seven rules in place to create some much-needed healthy limits on my food intake and the rest of it is a "free-for-all". I still have so much freedom, yet I've felt trapped most of the week.  It seems all of the things I crave are the things that I've given up.  Let's recap, for those that have forgotten, exactly what I'm fasting from this month:

*No Fast Food
*No Soda/Pop
*No Alcohol
*No Pork
*No Eating after 7 p.m.
*Only One Grocery Trip a week
*No Chocolate

Which one of them has been the hardest for me to adhere to?  ALL. OF. THEM. Geez, I'm pathetic.

It seems as though I have been living a lifestyle that is way too much "on the go". So much so that I never plan ahead what my family will eat ahead of time, and making the possibility of grabbing something fast food pretty much inevitable. It's been a struggle all week, with trips to the Science Museum around lunch time to mall trips around dinner time. I'm learning that I'm not a planner. I'm a "spontaneous eater" by nature. I graze. A little here, a little there, but hardly ever a little at home. That's been changing as I've learned to schedule our outings a bit after some REALLY late dinners and really cranky kids made me realize that's not acceptable. So, I'm adapting.

Let's talk caffeine. I'm not sure how people do life without it. For years I have suffered through existence with a Big Gulp in the morning to wake me up enough to endure people, and then have refilled throughout the day.  This has been to all of your benefits. I'm really not a nice person without a healthy dose of caffeine running through my veins. I'm still getting my caffeine, but in a bit more creative ways. Since the NO SODA rule, I've been popping Excedrin tablets like their going out of style. Before you deem me a druggie, know that the lack of soda has given me daily headaches and Excedrin (that happens to be chalked full of caffeine) allows me to grin and bare it when I really want to crawl into a corner and cry.  I've also taken my morning coffee to a whole new level. I used to drink it only in the fall/winter. But having a morning java has saved my children from many near-death experiences over the last two weeks. I tell them on a daily basis, "Folgers has saved your lives again."  Not to make myself sound too ridiculously pathetic, I have started drinking water again. You know, the stuff on tap in your OWN homes that's FREE?!  I add a little Mio and Viola!  I'm finding I'm not so dehydrated all the time.  This is something I plan to stick to after this whole fast is over.

Mostly this week I've realized that my slightly reduced life is still extraordinary in every way.  There are so little boundaries and no end to my advantages. For whatever reason, I was born into privilege:  I've never known hunger, poverty, or despair. I have been blessed.  Ridiculously blessed--relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  My life is so happy, it's almost embarrassing.  And yet I let little things like the fact that I can't run through a drive-thru window or grab a soda obstruct my view on reality. I can't see how blessed I am most days because I'm  not seeing the forest for the trees, so to speak. I've been concentrating too much on the few things that I can't have instead of all the endless things that I do have at my disposal. I have more food (even with all the limitations) in one single day than most of the earth's population see their whole lives. If anything is ridiculous, it's that fact. How many times do we really stop and think about that? If we did, I think it would revolutionize the way we think about food.

My husband and I are desperately trying to afford a mission trip coming up in November. We are saving money and planning on visiting Nicaragua, one of the "third-world-countries" in Central America.  I'm not entirely sure what defines a "third-world-country", but I know it involves a poverty like we cannot fathom in the United States. We see hunger, we see poverty, we see a down slide in our economy. . .But we know nothing about this level of desperation. We want to use what resources that we've been blessed with to go there and bless others. Whether that is with food, relational support, or just old-fashioned care and concern. This fast has opened my eyes to the fact that I don't know much about "need". I'm so looking forward to having my eyes opened in November to what a "need" truly looks like. It's not just a craving for a bit of fast food or a soda. It probably looks a lot more like a mom going to bed hungry so that both of her children have at least a little something in their bellies. My children don't know that feeling. I don't know that feeling.

"Tell me about the world before.  What was it like?"

We didn't even know what was precious.  

We threw away things that people would kill for today."

-The Book of Eli

Want to hear more about my journey of
Simplifying Life: Food, Here's Week THREE!

Week One: Simplifying FOOD

Simplifying Life is never easy. To hear why I chose this journey, Refer to the Beginning.

Well, I can honestly say that this week has been a bit more difficult than I thought it would be. Let me give you some examples:

Monday:  In-laws came over for dinner and didn't arrive until later than we normally have dinner. "Rule: NO Eating After 7 p.m" broken first night out of the gate. Lovely. But I cooked one of our 7 Meals for the week, so at least we were on track there.

Tuesday:  I seriously struggled with whether or not the Nutella in my cupboard was, indeed, considered "chocolate". I mean, it's hazelnut spread really. It shouldn't violate my Rule of "NO Chocolate", right? Yea. . .I didn't think I could justify it either. So I convinced the hubby to eat it as fast as he possibly could so it would stop being a temptation.  The things he does for me. . .:)

Wednesday:  All I wanted to do was grab a quick pizza for dinner. There's always so much rushing in between school and getting the kids to church and then to our couple's bible study.  A cheap "hot and ready" would really hit the spot right now, but that goes against the Rule "NO Fast Food", so I came home and made our cheeseburger macaroni meal that was planned. And wouldn't you know, we were still on time for everything.

Thursday:  I ran out of bread. This is not something that should be allowed during this whole 7 experiment since all I can have for lunches is sandwiches or protein shakes. In order to avoid breaking my Rule "ONLY ONE shopping trip per week", I improvised and made us turkey wraps with tortillas instead of turkey sandwiches. Same diff.

As you can see, I'm struggling a bit with the boundaries that I've set up for myself.  I've also had to answer a bunch of questions as to why I can't have this or that or why I've made up these rules for myself. Most of my answers include the phrase, "As a means of fasting. . .and just to see if I can pull it off".  Really, it's causing me to do the one thing that I set out for it to do.  This whole process is making me extremely aware of the fact that I'm very used to food being readily available and at my disposal.  I realize how often I eat without really putting a lot of thought into what I'm eating.  I'm coming to grips with the fact that food is a means of security for me.  It's my comfort.  In turn, I'm really learning how to cope with the stresses of daily life without using food as a crutch.  As something I can reach out to when I'm bored or vulnerable.  I'm learning that I've seen food as a hobby, something that I do socially, and something that is meant to be enjoyed and not what it really is--nutrition.  I've removed the convenience of food by doing this experiment. It's no longer something that I can do without thinking. At least for the duration of these three more weeks.

I will say that I have focused so much on myself this week and what I could not have because of the rules that I have set for myself. This was not my intention and I really hope as this fast continues, my focus will move from food to inner change.  I pray it will bring me more to a place of thankfulness for what I have.  And I pray it will bring me closer to God. I feel like this turning point is just around the corner. I so want for this time of surrender will bring me to a place of hunger for God that I've not known for some time. I know Jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days. Even HE fasted, in order to get closer to the Father, to get closer to God. I want that hunger. I want to turn every stomach growl into a reminder to pray.  I want for every craving to remind me that I need to physically crave Jesus more and more as well. I want to leave this four weeks of fasting in the food department  full of God.  After Jesus' fast, He then began healing, rescuing, and redeeming.  The Spirit filled up the emptiness Jesus created, launching Him into ministry.  In some supernatural way the abstinence from food was the catalyst that Jesus needed.  Never again would Jesus fly under the radar.  His powerful ministry was activated after His fast from food. After thirty years on earth, His story truly began.

"He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them, he was hungry." (Luke 4:2)

I want to be that hungry.

Here's to three more weeks!

Want to hear what I learned in Week Two? 

 Simplifying Life: Food (Week Two)

Giving God My "Status Update"

It wasn't until I reached the halfway mark in this Lent process that I realized that I gave up the wrong thing.  I'm currently fasting from "fast food", and as it seemed like a rational, healthy choice at the time, I've since realized that I took the easy road. I think the whole point of Lent is to bring someone closer to God through the fasting process. I wrestled with a number of things that I could give up before I settled on one.  But that was the problem. I settled on something I could give up and not something I should give up.  Don't get me wrong. I'm ridiculously addicted to fast food. I could eat some form of drive-through, processed, goodness 3 times a day. The more fattening the better! Greasy fries. . .heaven; hamburgers with three layers of cheese. . .amazing; tacos dripping in sour cream and guac. . .bring it on. So believe me when I tell you that sacrificing this addiction for 45 days seemed to be just the ticket. It's not been easy. Proudly, I've only had one minor hiccup involving a soft taco that my son couldn't finish one afternoon.  And just between you and me, it was cold, lacked the good toppings, and I was only tasting it because he had screamed that it was "poisonous yuck".  I couldn't have my toddler dying on me, so I took one for the team and deemed it fit to eat.

But in the grand scheme of things, I didn't give up the thing that would be the hardest for me; the most sacrificial.  Because let's face it. . .Facebook is my lifeline. It's my outlet. My escape. It's the one avenue that I have in which to keep up with the world around me. Most days I'm stuck in a house with two toddlers whose conversations unceasingly revert to superheroes and ninjas. The prospect of some adult interaction sounds marvelous, and pertinant to my overall sanity. Social media is God's greatest gift to me (outside of the obvious gift of my Savior and kids and husband and whatnot).  Granted, I spend an ENORMOUS amount of time there, sharing life with my friends and family and keeping up with the happenings and drama of every last person I know. But it can be a complete "time-suck".  It's been the thing that keeps me from spending time reading to my son.  It's been known to steal quality time away from my husband.  It's the culprit in many a wasted day when  I could have been investing in my tangible relationships. It's just become my greatest hobby, closest friend, and worst addiction for over 3 years now. That may sound silly, but it's the truth.  I have a feeling a lot of you can relate.

So I gave it up. Let me just tell you that it's only been three days and I am having severe withdrawls. I'm dying to know what all my girlfriends thought about the Bachelor finale.  I'm getting the shakes without my morning "fix" of coffee and facebook encouragement to start my day. As pathetic as it sounds, it's the first thing that I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think to check before I go to bed. Without it, I'm sort of walking around lost.  I know that it's sad that something so ridiculous has made it's way into my life and taken up such a residency that I almost don't know how to function without it.  Take yesterday, for example. I woke up to a toddler asleep in the floor instead of his brand-spanking new bunkbed. He looked so adorable lying there under his bed that I immediately thought to take a photo and post it on FB with the caption: My new bed is too soft-First World  Problems. But I can't. Because God has called me to give it up. So I moved on with my day. I finished reading "Kisses for Katie" and thought I should share a recommendation for it, as well as some awesome quotes from the book with all my friends online. It truly inspired me and I wanted to write a post about it.  But I can't. Because I'm fasting from facebook.  Mr. Grouchy Pants got home from preK with a headache and began crying incessantly so we took him to the after-hours pediatrician. Ear-Infection From Hell, apparently. At least that's what the doctor said and I thought her profanity was facebook worthy. . .but, nada. No posting.  The fact was that my baby was feeling terrible and I would've loved the prayers of others right then.  But God is saying no for now.

It wasn't until I woke up this morning with practically no voice that I really understood what God was calling me to during this added fast from Facebook.  I've been battling the achiness and the sore throat for the past few days, but it really seemed to rear it's ugly head today and I sat there thinking, "Without a voice, how will I handle today? Who's going to be the one to yell and scream at my family today?"  Seemed funny, but pretty accurate.  I'm sure they have all realized that things have been a bit quieter this evening. But in my quietness, and my inability to tell the world how "poopy" I felt, God spoke to me.

TELL ME.

I realized that it's not as necessary for me to share my feeling online as it is necessary that I share them with God.  I recognized that He had become a second and sometimes third source of affirmation and comfort. Not the first. I was valuing how everyone else saw my life as it happened more than I prioritized telling Him about every little detail about my day. I changed my perspective today.  I saw God as a jealous God. As a friend who has been hurt time and time again by my inconsideration to let Him into the everyday of my life. He wants me to tell Him how poopy" I feel and how I miss my voice. He wants to know that Grouch is hurting and needs a speedy recovery from the Ear Infection From Hell.  He wants to be thanked for the inspiration that I read in a book or for the special moments that I share looking at my sleeping baby on the floor. He wants to be the first thing that I think about in the morning and the last thing that I think about before I go to sleep. He wants communication. He wants friendship. He wants ME.  And He wants me to stop giving it away to people who don't care as much as He does.

I share this with you all because I think a lot of times, we get caught up in the need for connection.  The need for communication.  The need to find others out there who are interested in our lives and the details of who we are. We find that connection, quite frequently through social media. Its a marvelous invention! It's been one of the the highlights of my life, to date! But it can also create in us unhealthy addictions, like it has in my life. It can occupy so much of our lives that we are no longer "present" in the here and now.  We are more caught up in "checking in" where ever we may be, taking pictures to post online for others to witness what we are experiencing, and trying to fit our amazing lives into a fitly-spoken status update. All the while, we are missing out on life and giving the best parts of us away.  God wants my "status updates". He wants yours. He wants us to truly LIVE and share it with him in the most amazing way--communication.  He designed us to have that need for connection.  Because we are supposed to find that first in Him, and then with others.  He has put that desire for intimacy and communication in us because He wants us to tell Him about every little boring detail of our day. Every little thing that we would normally save for our next "status update".

I'm fasting from Facebook.  A number of people, knowing that I spend my entire existence there have asked WHY.  There you have it. For the next 30 days, I will be giving God my "status updates". He appreciates them way more than all my facebook friends, I'm sure! In the process, I'm learning a lot about communication and just how much of an intimate relationship the God of the Universe wants with me.  I hope, that before you post that next status update, you'll take a moment, and let God know what's on your mind first. I know He'll "Like" having shared even one moment of your life with you.