Thursday, November 29, 2012

A Beauty Regime (Pre vs. Post Children)


Did you know that I have the cutest friends on planet earth?! Well, there you go. This new friend of mine is no exception. Meet Diane from an adorable little place called Dollops of Diane.  She is a Boston area stay-at-home mom with three kiddos, a ridiculous gift of planning, and an intense love for all the finer things in life (mainly Diet Pepsi, peanut butter cups, and white wine). See, definitely my kinda gal!  She grabbed my attention on facebook with her hilarious wit and hysterical status updates. See what I mean HERE.  Today she brings us her beauty regime (or lack there of). I, for one, can totally relate. Without further adou. . .

While getting ready this morning my mind was racing with all the things I had to remember to pack in the preschoolers back pack, mentally finding the library books that were overdue, and willing the laundry to fold itself. I was so distracted by planning out the day that I couldn’t remember if I brushed my teeth or not. I looked at the toothbrush – had I just put it down there? I ran my tongue across my teeth – did they feel clean? So I did the sure fire test and felt the toothbrush – wet, okay I brushed. Heaven forbid that I brush twice in one day. Who has time for that? Pre-Kids I used to whiten my teeth. Now I can’t even remember if they’ve been brushed.


I then looked in the mirror and noticed my face was seeing the effects of fall in New England. God only knows how long my chin looked dry and flaky like that but I grabbed the nearby Johnson’s Baby Lotion and applied it liberally to my entire face. Pre-kids I never would have dreamed of rubbing baby lotion all over me but who has time for fancy facial moisturizers anymore? Plus, this way my face gets to smell like a baby’s bottom all day. Oh wait…that’s not a good thing.


I recently realized that I also go through twice as much deodorant now because I can NEVER remember if I put it on or not. Better to double up than be stinky at story time, right?


Pre-kids I used to paint my finger nails. I would liberally apply coats and then spend drying time leisurely watching trashy television. Now I spend my time painting my 5 year old’s nails while she watches Dora and criticizes my technique.


Pre-kids I used to ponder if I should wear my hair curly (natural state) or straighten it. Now I literally laugh out loud at the thought of straightening it. I think I *may* have straightened it once since we had our oldest (five years ago!). Half the time I don’t even bother to put mousse in it and I just pull it back wet in a ponytail. Straightening it would take about 45 minutes. I can’t even imagine having 45 minutes to myself and if I did I certainly wouldn’t be using it to straighten my hair. I would use it to eat cookie dough covered in frosting.


What about you? What changes have you made to your get ready routine since kids? Oh, and please don’t say none. That would just make me feel bad!

9 comments:

  1. just found you from living in yellow and am your newest follower!

    loved this post, it's so funny! i don't have kids yet but my sister is a new mom and she would probably get a kick out of this.

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    1. Thanks for stopping over, Kasey! Though much of what I write about it kid-related, I'm a GIRL, and I love to rant and rave about the other hilarious parts of life. :) Hope you'll visit again!!

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  2. Love you Dollops! Great post. You made me laugh out loud, of course! I wouldn't expect anything less. Hmmm, I once washed my face with a tiny bottle of fancy, expensive goat's milk cleanser. I'll be damned! Now, it's bar soap or bust!

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    1. Wait, people wash their face with something other than just plain water?

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  3. That was funny Diane. Priorities change tremendously when we have kids. We move into the kid survival mode.

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    1. Thanks, Mark! Definitely just trying to survive each day :)

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  4. DEFINITELY better to double up on the deodorant. One of the days last week that I was at Zumba, someone near me must have forgotten theirs and let me tell you, that was the LONGEST hour of my life.

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    1. And that right there is why I don't go to Zumba!

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