Friday, November 9, 2012

Simplifying Life: Doing It Scared OR Possessions 3.0

 I have a few confessions to make. First, I'm writing this post early because as you read this I am sitting somewhere in a beautiful fishing village in Nicaragua more than likely overwhelmed by how blessed I truly am in life. I don't see how anyone can travel to a third-world country and NOT feel a little overwhelmed by how differently we live at home compared to so many around the world. I've been this overwhelmed before when I visited Africa and will never be the same. I expect the same thing is happening this week. The second confession goes with the first.  I'll admit I'm writing this post a week in advance because who knows if I will have any Internet connection or way to communicate with you fine people while I am there. Aren't you all feeling special that I thought of you in advance? Well. . .you should be. And since I just realized that I told you that I have a "few" confessions to make and a "few" technically means more than TWO, I will confess this last thing, but only if you'll promise not to spread it around. My third confession:  I AM SCARED.

I have no idea what kind of revelations God has planned for me this week. I just know that my husband and I have been planning and praying for this trip since May and we know God has led us here for a purpose. Neither one of us ever had any intentions of traveling to Nicaragua. Quite frankly, we didn't even know it was a third-world country, that there was lots of need there, or that God was even calling us to ministry in this way, but here we are. God seems to be moving pretty epically in my life lately, and I expect this trip to be nothing less. So as you read this, if you could pray a little prayer for me, that would be fabulous. Cause I can just imagine that today, as I probably sit on the beach eating breakfast and staring out at the sunrise, that God is doing so pretty intense stirring inside me. Especially in the area of "possessions". Nothing snaps you back into reality like realizing that you have sooooo much more than everyone else around you. I know I'm feeling that this week and it scares me to death how that feeling is going to change me to the core. It's an exciting and overwhelming fear, and I know that it will do nothing short of confirm that this place of fasting that I've been in for the last three months has placed me in the center of God's will for my life. I know that, but it doesn't make the fear go away. So, with those confessions, I will leave you with an excerpt from Jen Hatmaker's book, "7", and maybe it will speak to you as it did me.

"I'm two and a half months into 7, and I'm noticing some things. God historically moves epically in my life.  I don't have subtle seasons of change.  Our rhythm works like this:  I experience a maddening tension I can or can't exactly put my finger on, and then BAM.  God kicks me in the teeth and things change. 

7 is becoming epically transformative. Tension led me here; now God is making a mess of things.  I sense God preparing us for change.  My sensitivity of a thirteen-year-old boy.  I feel raw and less and less attached to my stuff.  Scripture is pouncing in my brain like a panther.  It's like when I first got glasses and I couldn't get over how clear everything was. And I walked weird because my perception was altered.  I kept shouting, "Look at all the leaves!  I can see every leaf on the tree!" like it was a miracle after having been impaired for so long.  

I have no idea what this means, but my hands are opening.  I know my next phase of life is not going to look the same. 

I'm scared. Hmmm. When I first typed that, I accidentally spelled sacred.  Perhaps those have always been flip sides of a coin.  Like my friend says, "Obedience isn't a lack of fear. It's just doing it scared.""

Won't you leave me a comment if you are praying for me this week? It would mean the world to me!