Things I Learned This Week

If I had nothing left to complain about, I'd complain about that. Ever have one of those days?

I would pick up a hitchhiker wearing an “I Heart Murder” t-shirt before I’d pick up a call from a blocked number.

Things you learn when you go on a date-night with your mother: all about menopause, spanx, and how near-60-year-olds still like to "make-out". These are the things you don't learn in school, folks. I'm taking notes....

Highlight of my kids Halloween season.....watching the movie/show with whom their costume corresponds while they sit and yell, "Look, it's ME" every time they see their character. Do you know how many episodes of Power Rangers Samurai there are? I could be hearing this phrase for weeks!

I'm realizing the importance of vaccinations. It's very important that EVERYONE I know gets a flu shot this year so that I don't have to.

Smoke detectors need to be tested from time to time. So sometimes I cook something.

The Internet is a lot like ancient Egypt, people writing on walls and worshipping cats.

Words cannot describe the joy I've received from shaving the Hundred Acre Woods from my overgrown legs. Your welcome for the information.

Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain 3.) prisoner of war 4.) homeless person 5.) wizard

You’d think the crescent roll’s packages would have a warning like: May blow your hand off if opened correctly.

My kids are SO demanding in the mornings. Just for the record, don't ask me for pancakes before I've had my morning pee. It sets the whole mood off, kid.

When people say, "I'm not getting any younger!", I wonder what other basic life principles they just now got around to learning.

I’m positive that somewhere out there exists a video montage of me dancing alone in various elevators, cars, and public restrooms.

I do my best proofreading after I hit send/post.

Pretty sure God gave me laryngitis. Things have been so much calmer in my household without my ability to "correct and rebuke" so loudly. Well played, Lord. Well played. But really....can I have my voice back yet?

Despite what I may believe sometimes, God doesn't give me more than I can't handle. :)

Happy Weekend Friends!